Prayer works! It's win-win for God - yay!

I was chatting with a Christian friend who hesistated in talking to me somewhat because she thought it would end up as blog fodder. Sigh, well 'you' planted the thoughts gal, so here goes. I'm not attacking 'God' as such because a reasonable part of me believes he doesn't actually exist in the first place, nor does he read my blog. The unreasonable part of me thinks he exists and is aware of the blog but couldn't care less and that he has put this whole universe in a little jar in his fortress of solitude. And no, I'm not going to bloody well give the 'he' a capital H... for crying out loud. If this stupid and probably non-existant deity is so pedantic about capitalisation, he can kiss my evolved upper-case Monkey Butt!

Anyway, kudos to God for answering every prayer... you said, "prayers aren't always answered the way one hopes for or expects sometimes", and this is a fairly old argument that has him landing on his big feet smelling like a rose and whistling dixie to himself as he wanders away from a situation with his hands nervously held together behind his back. He wins every time with this logic and comes across as the ultimate convenience trickster. Sure, he can't answer every prayer as we'd like him to or we'd all be drinking without hangovers and std free orgies.

Dear omnipresent Lord, you are so awesome and big. You are so big that I feel small when I stand next to you... you're one big bitch. I beseech thee oh Lord of lords, and king of kings, and queen of queens, and Jack of Jackshit, to hear my prayer and throw me a friggin' bone here 'cause this is taking up my quality masturbation time. Forgive me oh holy one, for I have been created sinful (in your image? were you too susceptable to fucking up? how does that work? whatever...) and I truly hope you forgive me for being created by you. Yeah, see I don't get it either, but there's no use complaining, eh?

Yadda yadda yadda... save the whales, and the kids born into starvation and poverty, and please stop rape and people who don't indicate at roundabouts... people are getting hurt. That's it for now. Can you use your awesome Holy Ghost super powers to turn the global warming stuff around too huh? Polar bears gotta eat.

God has a plan

That God has a plan... where do people getting that from? Does every person have a plan? What about the millions of people who starve to death before puberty? I remember the 'steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord', but what if one is not good? Ha, "there is none good", sayeth the Lord.

The biggest fallacy of all is that we should take our hands off the wheel because 'God has a plan'. Don't fall into the trap of thinking everything will be alright. Life is not some episode of the Brady Bunch where everything gets resolved at the end and while the characters await the next dilemna. Take life into your own hands people and make your own plans before you realise how many years you've wasted waiting for the plan to come to fruition. As you look back on life you can see events that lead to a fate... in hindsight, everything looks like it was planned.

And what of the people who you now put in your prayers? Are their lives in such imminent danger that you must petition them to God because they have strayed from the unquestionable truth you hold the keys to? Where God would have previously not had a plan for, they're now possibly going to get into a favourable future arrangement because you give them a thought or two while you lift your holy hands towards the mysterious father of heaven and earth?
Hey, It's not that I'm trying to reason out God with a few hundred keystrokes... we're just exploring the unthinkable possibility that God isn't completely in control of this random mess we call existance. Keep praying for the poor wretches who follow their natural god-given instinct to question reality - it can't hurt... unfortunately I wonder if it will actually help.