Showing posts with label Speaking in Tongues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Speaking in Tongues. Show all posts
"Oh wow, you were in a cult?!"
"You were in a CULT?" asks another teacher at work.
"No, no. Cult is a very strong word, and we weren’t all that different from other churches. We did have our own language though." The response to this? Much laughter. I may as well have been Tom Cruise explaining how Scientology was founded by an alien forefather named Xenu.
We had our own language… sigh. And it took me 17 years to realise how remarkably messed up and ridiculous that is. Star Trekkian nerds who spoke in our own form of Klingon. To be honest, the act of glossolalia (speaking in tongues) isn’t unusual in pentecostal christian circles, but our particular life sucking church, the Revival Fellowship (and Centres ‘International’) played on this ability to verbalise double dutch gibberish.
I’ve cut and pasted that 17 years from my life and am trying to delete it from my clipboard. As a result, I sometimes feel I started my actual 18 year of life at the age of 32, but then I may have actually never matured past teenage-hood if my Batman obsession since then is anything to go by. I was young and impressionable and I thought I knew all the secrets to the universe and am too embarrassed to list our creed of beliefs.
Happily agnostic now and still interested in religion, but not as a lifestyle anymore, I enjoy studying a myriad of beliefs and am interested in exploring why people believe in the various superstitions and religions they fall into. From astrology to Ufology to organised religion, we seem to certaiinly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of ‘faith’ but won’t be falling for anymore bull crap myself (respectfully appreciating that everyone is entitled to pursue what they consider to be their ‘truth’ - more power to ya).
Someone told me today I was stupid to be caught up in that cult, and maybe I was. Thousands, millions, continue to delude themselves into thinking they are privy to a higher truth, and that the world needs saving. If I was stupid, I grew out of it.
This year I turn 22 (that’s 37 in your ‘earth’ years).
"No, no. Cult is a very strong word, and we weren’t all that different from other churches. We did have our own language though." The response to this? Much laughter. I may as well have been Tom Cruise explaining how Scientology was founded by an alien forefather named Xenu.
We had our own language… sigh. And it took me 17 years to realise how remarkably messed up and ridiculous that is. Star Trekkian nerds who spoke in our own form of Klingon. To be honest, the act of glossolalia (speaking in tongues) isn’t unusual in pentecostal christian circles, but our particular life sucking church, the Revival Fellowship (and Centres ‘International’) played on this ability to verbalise double dutch gibberish.
I’ve cut and pasted that 17 years from my life and am trying to delete it from my clipboard. As a result, I sometimes feel I started my actual 18 year of life at the age of 32, but then I may have actually never matured past teenage-hood if my Batman obsession since then is anything to go by. I was young and impressionable and I thought I knew all the secrets to the universe and am too embarrassed to list our creed of beliefs.
Happily agnostic now and still interested in religion, but not as a lifestyle anymore, I enjoy studying a myriad of beliefs and am interested in exploring why people believe in the various superstitions and religions they fall into. From astrology to Ufology to organised religion, we seem to certaiinly want to believe things we cannot see or prove. I understand and remember this sort of ‘faith’ but won’t be falling for anymore bull crap myself (respectfully appreciating that everyone is entitled to pursue what they consider to be their ‘truth’ - more power to ya).
Someone told me today I was stupid to be caught up in that cult, and maybe I was. Thousands, millions, continue to delude themselves into thinking they are privy to a higher truth, and that the world needs saving. If I was stupid, I grew out of it.
This year I turn 22 (that’s 37 in your ‘earth’ years).
Derren Brown - NLP Persuasion skills
Search for Derren Brown on Youtube and will see how a well-practiced expert can persuade people to change behaviour. This is done by suggestion, distraction and subliminal language.
In the church that got me, we started in a room with the elders and through a process of persuasive techique we believed that we received the "holy spirit" after a fervent and 'powerul' session. Many of us left that room after being convinced that the ecstatic speech, we had allowed our mouths to make, was actually the evidence that a god had now possessed our souls and would help us through life.
Through regular attendence we were continually persuaded to hang onto the faith and encouraged to maintain the tongue speaking nonsense as our link to the God above through the God filled within via the god that hung around between us. Keeping a one way conversation with three gods can be tricky, especially when the language used was gobbledegood in the first place. Gotta hand it to them tongue-speaking Christians... they're dumbfucks.
Watch the video... this one features Simon Pegg. Brilliant. And I love it that the magician actually tells us how he did it at the end rather than winking and wanking at us, like the idiotic spoon benders do.
Have you ever been abducted by aliens or spoken in tongues?
Bindi - Many psychologists ( not me yet! ) have studied the reported 'alien kidnappings', and one of the conclusions is that the kidnappings never occurred. However, the people making the claims are not necessarily mentally ill, nor are they lying.. These are by and large people who have 'remembered' their 'experiences' while undergoing therapy, and often under hypnosis. Tales of alien abduction are widely known throughout our culture, so it is not at all suprising that the 'memories' of 'kidnap victims' would tend to coincide. 'Abductees' generally claim that they are awakened during their sleep by the aliens and are unable to move. We know that many of our voluntary muscles-the ones that involve movement- become 'paralyzed' when we sleep, which is why we usually don't thrash around when we dream. 'Hallucinations' - that is, seeing and hearing things that are not really there - are quite common as we are waking from a sleep-paralyzed state - ( I can't tell you the amount of times Ive sat bolt-upright in bed with my eyes wide open fighting of hundreds of spiders that are hanging around my face! lol! ) - and it seems the reported experiences of 'abductees' fit the pattern. People are quite open to suggestion, especially during hypnosis. Memories are not perfect snapshots. "UFO" memories may be constructed from bits and pieces of sleep-related hallucinations, nightmares and media attention fixed solidly into place with the suggestion of hypnosis and the validation of support groups. I guess the same could be said for those of us who have had various 'experiences' with God. Our conviction is further validated by those around us who have 'experienced' the same. Dare I suggest, brainwashing??
ME (Moth) - I used to write-off all the alien and ghost stories as Satan's little army of demons playing silly bugger with us. Those mischievous little minxes and their tricks - crazy rascally little scallywags! Ahh, ya gotta love 'em. Christians would have us believe that all their crazy demon/angel/jesus sightings are above board, while the Mary/E.T./poltergeist sightings are induced by Mr Devil himself... the ultimate trickster. I have to say, that anyone who starts seeing mythological creatures in their own physical peripheral vision needs to really have a good long hard think about how much sleep they are getting and what unnatural substances they are allowing to seep through their lungs and stomach linings.
The bible has its own built-in clauses to explain away people like myself and that makes the whole thing work wonderfully. It would seem a strong delusion spell has been cast on me in order for me to believe a lie, and that I was 'not ever of them'. Whatever works for them, but I really think this is a cop out. If this delusion spell is on me then my freewill has been compromised and therefore my ability to work out my salvation has been biased and is not in my favour. That's a bit unfair don't you think?
Bindi - Yes... I do agree. Our 'free will' has been somewhat compromised. I don't really believe there IS any such thing as 'free will'! We were told... " You have a choice, its your free will, but if you don't do things THIS way, your going to hell and its not a nice place down there. Lots of screaming for all eternity. Burning sulphur. No chance of cooling off, no sirreee! But hey! Its your choice!" What the hell? ( pun intended ) What kind of choice is THAT???
As for seeing beasties, ghosts, gremlins and aliens. I believe its literally 'all in the mind'. Sometimes enhanced with a few mind expanding drugs if that's your thing! But seriously.... these 'things' can be explained away scientifically and therefor I don't believe it has anything to do with the workings of 'Ol' Nick' or is the souls of the dearly departed.
Having said that...what about the stories we here of 'haunted houses' etc? Ive heard some spine tingling stories of peoples experiences in some old, old buildings with a history behind them. How do we explain this? Is this another case of rumours getting around about certain places, stories being told and we have those tales memorized in our minds so when we visit these places, we 'experience' the same??? Is it because we want to have our OWN ghosty stories to tell? Lets face it.. everyone loves a good ghosty story around the campfire!!! There is nothing worse when everyone else has a story to tell and are all excited about telling it and then we turn around and say.. " well, nothing happened to me." Ohhh... what a convo killer! You don't get to be part of all the excited hype! You're left out! No one likes to be left out so we conjure up our OWN story.
Hence the reason why all those alien abductions tell a similar tale. They have heard it before and it becomes locked in their memory. The same can be said for similar stories being told in the churches. Some I truly believe may of been true, but some were 'over dramatized'. No one wanted to be 'left out' in giving an amazing testimony. Anything for a bit of attention.
ME (Moth) - I used to write-off all the alien and ghost stories as Satan's little army of demons playing silly bugger with us. Those mischievous little minxes and their tricks - crazy rascally little scallywags! Ahh, ya gotta love 'em. Christians would have us believe that all their crazy demon/angel/jesus sightings are above board, while the Mary/E.T./poltergeist sightings are induced by Mr Devil himself... the ultimate trickster. I have to say, that anyone who starts seeing mythological creatures in their own physical peripheral vision needs to really have a good long hard think about how much sleep they are getting and what unnatural substances they are allowing to seep through their lungs and stomach linings.
The bible has its own built-in clauses to explain away people like myself and that makes the whole thing work wonderfully. It would seem a strong delusion spell has been cast on me in order for me to believe a lie, and that I was 'not ever of them'. Whatever works for them, but I really think this is a cop out. If this delusion spell is on me then my freewill has been compromised and therefore my ability to work out my salvation has been biased and is not in my favour. That's a bit unfair don't you think?
Bindi - Yes... I do agree. Our 'free will' has been somewhat compromised. I don't really believe there IS any such thing as 'free will'! We were told... " You have a choice, its your free will, but if you don't do things THIS way, your going to hell and its not a nice place down there. Lots of screaming for all eternity. Burning sulphur. No chance of cooling off, no sirreee! But hey! Its your choice!" What the hell? ( pun intended ) What kind of choice is THAT???
As for seeing beasties, ghosts, gremlins and aliens. I believe its literally 'all in the mind'. Sometimes enhanced with a few mind expanding drugs if that's your thing! But seriously.... these 'things' can be explained away scientifically and therefor I don't believe it has anything to do with the workings of 'Ol' Nick' or is the souls of the dearly departed.
Having said that...what about the stories we here of 'haunted houses' etc? Ive heard some spine tingling stories of peoples experiences in some old, old buildings with a history behind them. How do we explain this? Is this another case of rumours getting around about certain places, stories being told and we have those tales memorized in our minds so when we visit these places, we 'experience' the same??? Is it because we want to have our OWN ghosty stories to tell? Lets face it.. everyone loves a good ghosty story around the campfire!!! There is nothing worse when everyone else has a story to tell and are all excited about telling it and then we turn around and say.. " well, nothing happened to me." Ohhh... what a convo killer! You don't get to be part of all the excited hype! You're left out! No one likes to be left out so we conjure up our OWN story.
Hence the reason why all those alien abductions tell a similar tale. They have heard it before and it becomes locked in their memory. The same can be said for similar stories being told in the churches. Some I truly believe may of been true, but some were 'over dramatized'. No one wanted to be 'left out' in giving an amazing testimony. Anything for a bit of attention.
HEROES - Christians with Super-Powers!
Miracles are great - they really are, or they would be if they actually happened. If they are true then all the lucky super-powered christian Heroes should get together and fight crime or do something useful with their powers, like feed the world or stop climate change. So, what super powers could they claim to have if they were all running at their full potential? Jesus said that they wouldd do greater things than he did, and really, that was a big statement wasn't it? According to Jesus they should be able to at least do the following and do them better.Walking on water - I'd pay to see that, that there is a handy miracle. Would shoes get wet or would the fee actually be water repellant, just hovering above it? Either way this is a gravity defying miracle and therefore Christians should not only be able to walk on water, they should be able to fly.
Changing water into wine - Why can't all christians do this one..? they might get invited to more parties if they could. I'd sure as heck always make sure there was one of these 'heroes' at my parties.
Casting out demons - If I ever came across a demon, it would be great to send it into a herd of swine. Imagine the look on their faces as they get a red hot poker up the porky. It'd be priceless, they wouldn't know what hit them. I wonder what the bacon would taste like? Mmmm... smoked demon possessed ham... It's the forbidden apple in the mouth of a cooked pig that stops them from getting out.
Healing - Anything to save on health care and deter death would be neat. Hey, I'd even pay to not worry about bulk billing if these super-powered supernatural healings could be dished out better than Jesus could do it. If Jesus could do leprosy, then Christians should be able to turn the tide of Aids. Except that they're too busy waving signs at all the people they actually think have Aids.
Raising the dead - again that'd be awesome - full marks for this miracle - death sucks, it's been a real problem for a long time. Wrinkles are no good either. I say if they are gonna do better than Jesus on this one, not only do they have to re-animate the Lazuras' of today but also smooth out the wrinkles and unsightly scarring of whatever put them in the grave in the first place.
Invisibility - Apparently Jesus was able to get out of the clutches of a mad crowd by slipping throught the midst of them. He was sort of phasing out and moving through them invisibly. Michael Jackson is trying to achieve invisibility I think. He's gone from black to white to invisible... what? I don't see him anymore. But he's not Christian, so he can't top Jesus' trick... hmmm. I do hear of a lot of pastors who put their mittens in unwanted kittens, and then they disappear.
Ascending into heaven - That'd be cool to see. Defying gravity is always brilliant, especially if you wear a cape or flowing white robes. But like kilts, everyone is trying to look up them as you fly up into the atmosphere (where God is).
Loaves and fishes - I really really hope that works with KFC. I think this miracle is great and if I witnessed it... well, you'd never shut me up! I don't even think any of the mutated X-Men are able to generate food on that scale from slim pickings. Picard's Enterprise was able to though.
Calming the storms - Excellent... brilliant... America would really appreciate that and pay you heaps to stop another hurricane. Everyone loves X-Men's Storm, but not when she played Catwoman. Crossing from a Marvel character to DC is not a good choice in the movie business.
Speaking in Tongues - an unintelligible language... What the? Is that amazing? Is there a superhero that can do that? Tongueman? Gobbledygookboy? Wow, is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's ummm, it's some guy who can stutter - next. So, you can speak in tongues? and you admit it in public. If you seriously try and tell the rest of the world that it is a supernatural miracle to rival a bottomless bucket of KFC then you are fooling yourself and potentially many other naive wonderers. I'd be complaining and asking for one of the other powers.
Did Our Baptist Pastor Speak In Tongues? Listen and Decide!
Did Our Baptist Pastor Speak In Tongues? Listen and Decide!
An Important Message to Church Members
Pastor Deacon Fred was hospitalized after a troubling incident during last Sunday's sermon which involved an audibly manifested gift of the Holy Spirit, thought by intelligent Baptists to have been dormant since the close of the Apostolic Age. Landover Baptist Church security officers rushed Pastor to the Landover Baptist Memorial Hospital so that doctors could perform an emergency all night prayer vigil and the laying on of hands.
Evidential clip: Portion of sermon in question (property of Landover Baptist Center for Creation Science Research until further notice).
Church Secretary, Ida Mae Denkins, reports that her phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from church members who witnessed Pastor's episode last Sunday. "They are extremely concerned about his condition, and that we might be going 'tongues,'" she stated. "Most of the folks calling in were there to witness first hand, what I consider to be the Holy Spirit of God Almighty at work through the sweet, precious lips of Pastor Deacon Fred." Mrs. Denkins further stated (off the record) that she can prove with secular scientific DNA evidence that Pastor has the gift of tongues.
Dr. Jonathan Edwards reports that his team of Creation Scientists will not stop investigating the incident until they find a way to make it fit into their theology. Church members are encouraged to pass the transcript and audio available through this public web-page to family members and friends in hopes that someone in our extended True Christian™ Baptist family has experienced such an event before and may offer some advice.
Please contact Dr. Edwards at the Landover Baptist Center for Creation Science Research if you have any information that may be of assistance. Thank You!
Spirituality... what the hell is it?
So, what is spirituality... true spirituality? It's different for everyone. And anyone who thinks there is only one way of being spiritual is a bit of a nong. (Nong: Hoopy frood who has 3 shenackles short of a frapatula)
I used to feel spiritual when listening to music (or is that just emotional, and if it was, what was the big difference?). I feel spiritual often in a NON deity/ supernatural sense just in the sense of wonder and appreciation, enjoyment, bliss when in nature, eating fudge, watching my cat and other animals etc. I think THAT can be spiritual too. So can being kind to others! (but that's what we have gay people for) And I suppose relaxing at a spa could be spiritual. Blogging is spiritual - You can quote me on that.
The Christian fundies want us to believe that spirituality MUST be tied up in religion but I believe it's entirely possible for an atheist (label warning!) to feel spiritual or at least connected to others and the world around them in a spiritual way. Do you think so? How do YOU interpret spirituality and how do you practice it if you do?
I used to know a group of people who thought spirituality was only achieved through glossalalia (speaking in tongues). This largish international group of people are in the most part deluded and ignorant to the real life outside. They believe that the miraculous ability to say uninterpretable babble with your eyes closed is the only way to meet with God. If you argue or try to reason with them they look at you very crossly and say that "God won't be mocked". I now use that reply to everything because it works so well. "hey mate, did you scratch my car?!"... my reply "God won't be mocked".
Modern churches: Their predominantly white, middle class, comfortable family lives have very little idea as to what goes on outside of their rose coloured stained glass windows. Sure they try and help their communities by raising money for charities and cooking sausages for the homeless but their main intent is to drag people to their Sunday morning meetings... trick them into saying a sinner's prayer for JeeeZuss, putting nice clothes on them and getting them to sing a hymn or funky Hillsong. Small minds in a large world.
Tongue fixated churches
Some of my blogs are in particular reference to a select group of deluded fundamentalists who have a particular fetish for glossolalia (speaking in tongues). They're the ones who got me.The man-made gospel of speaking in tongues, being the primary indicator for salvation, has been passing on from various churches for half a century now. These followers believe that anyone who calls themselves Christians, but cannot perform the act, is fooling themselves and whoever they talk to. Non-speaking Christians aren't even second-class citizens to them... in fact, they're not even Christians at all, according to their bible interpretation. They think very little of the 'fake' Christians and even less of the worldlys whom they do endeavor to save with their select gospel.
The argument is convincing and the scriptures dovetail quite nicely when tweaked accordingly. Initiation and approval is given via a random rambling drawl and it is exchanged at every meeting, much like a secret handshake. However, this thread is not a debate on tongues but rather an expose on the churches (no matter how big or small) who are similar to Revival or who have broken off from them without discarding the tongues fixation. Most of these churches don't communicate with each other but do nod politely in their direction when it's acknowledged that, 'at least they have tongues'.
They are:
The RCI - Revival Centres International
The GRC - Geelong Revival Centres
The CAI - Christian assemblies International
The RF - Revival Fellowships
The UP - United Pentecostals
Speaking in tongues for the ego
shigida shigida shigida
All tongues seems to do is provide an elitist schism. Us vs them. Saved vs unsaved. It's tick box Christianity. It fools naive newcomers to marvel at the weird unusual goings on and sucks them into varying years of ignorance until they wake up to it... or don't.
I was a Revivalist for nearly two decades, I prayed in double dutch and prayed for people to get it. It's a learned behavior and the sooner people see through the charade the better. A miracle is when water is walked on or bones are meshed or when a tumor disappears. The unintelligible gibberish we chant to a God who can hear our hearts desire way before we even speak it is far from a miracle.
I actually fully believed my tongue gift for all those 17 years. It was nice to fit in and be one of the gang in the superfriends fan club. I thought it was absolutely amazing (or I convinced myself I did) that I could speak in tongues and I went door knocking everywhere so I could persuade the ignorant masses of the salvation that comes through the ability to say Honda Hyundai . I actually practiced my amazing gift well and could mimic many different types of languages (not that hard - and I did believe it was a spiritual linguistic power moving through me).
All tongues seems to do is provide an elitist schism. Us vs them. Saved vs unsaved. It's tick box Christianity. It fools naive newcomers to marvel at the weird unusual goings on and sucks them into varying years of ignorance until they wake up to it... or don't.
I was a Revivalist for nearly two decades, I prayed in double dutch and prayed for people to get it. It's a learned behavior and the sooner people see through the charade the better. A miracle is when water is walked on or bones are meshed or when a tumor disappears. The unintelligible gibberish we chant to a God who can hear our hearts desire way before we even speak it is far from a miracle.
I actually fully believed my tongue gift for all those 17 years. It was nice to fit in and be one of the gang in the superfriends fan club. I thought it was absolutely amazing (or I convinced myself I did) that I could speak in tongues and I went door knocking everywhere so I could persuade the ignorant masses of the salvation that comes through the ability to say Honda Hyundai . I actually practiced my amazing gift well and could mimic many different types of languages (not that hard - and I did believe it was a spiritual linguistic power moving through me).
Non-Christians speak in tongues, too
Speaking in tongues is much older than Paul.
It comes from the Pythoness of the Oracle at Delphi. How it worked was you made a large donation to the Temple of Apollo and you got the ask the Pythoness a single question. She would the pray to the God Apollo at a fissure at the altar. Recently tested it was found that a mildly toxic gas was, and still is, emitted from this crack in the Earth. The Oracle is over the junction of two earthquake faults. She, the Pythoness, would start dancing around and babbling incoherently. A Priest of the temple would "translate" what the Pythoness had said. She was speaking the speech of the gods and was getting all her information from Apollo.
The Oracle at Delphi started in the 400s BC, when Greece was at its strongest. It continued into the Roman era as if it was a parody of its former self, so the members of the churches of Greece and Asia Minor would have been very familiar with how Delphi worked. It was a shrine of the Greek god Apollo. In response to someone's questions, a priestess would go into a frenzy and start babbling. An attendant priest would then 'translate' the babble into some glittering generalities that could in some way be understood as an answer. Some of the best-known features of Greek philosophy streamed out from the Oracle's early years (for instance, it bred the saying "Know Yourself"); the great Greek philosophers were very good at finding jewels in waste water. The cult of Dionysis used rhythmic music, whirling dances, alcohol and/or herbal drugs, and magic spells to send peoples' souls out of their body (Greek ek stasis ) and into the presence of whatever deity or sub-deity was involved; this too sometimes caused strange sounds.
African animists, too, have long had ecstatic speech in their religions. But, just as glossolalia among Jews marked one as a prophet, glossolalia caused most African animists to foist onto the speaker the role of religious leader or priest, a heavy spiritual and cultural responsibility to lay upon an unprepared person. Wherever they have happened in the past, glossolalia and other extraordinary 'spiritual' happenings have not been, and have not really been allowed to be, a thing 'of the people', which could be a part of the otherwise-normal life of otherwise-ordinary people.
Deep in the gnostic book-hoard at Nag Hammadi, archaeologists discovered what may be the earliest, and perhaps one of the strangest, written instances of glossolalia. (Gnosticism arose at the same time as Christianity, and Gnostics were skilled at melding Christian devotions and spirituality to the un-Christian Gnostic framework -- to use a modern term, they tried to 'co-opt' Christianity.) While modern theologians give the unusual contents at Nag Hammadi much more attention than they deserve, a prayer introduction in *The Gospel Of the Egyptians* is a true attention-grabber. It reads roughly (very roughly) like this :
Ié ieus éó ou éó óua! O Jesus, bond of Yah's righteousness, O Living Water, O Child of Child, O glorious Name! Really truly, O Eon that is, iiii éééé eeee oo uuuu óóóó aaaaa, really truly éi aaaa óó óó! O One That Is, Seer Of the Ages! Really truly, aee ééé iiii uuuuuu óóóóóóóó, You who are eternally eternal, really truly iéa aió, in the heart, You who Are, You are what You are, ei o ei eios ei!
Even the translatable words are very iffy and full of vowels and mixed languages. Like modern glossolalia, it's got a lot of almost-words, divine titles, and 'really truly'. It's almost like a parody, it's so garbled, but it was serious in its intent. The ecstatic speech did not make the book's bizarre beliefs the slightest bit more true.
It comes from the Pythoness of the Oracle at Delphi. How it worked was you made a large donation to the Temple of Apollo and you got the ask the Pythoness a single question. She would the pray to the God Apollo at a fissure at the altar. Recently tested it was found that a mildly toxic gas was, and still is, emitted from this crack in the Earth. The Oracle is over the junction of two earthquake faults. She, the Pythoness, would start dancing around and babbling incoherently. A Priest of the temple would "translate" what the Pythoness had said. She was speaking the speech of the gods and was getting all her information from Apollo.
The Oracle at Delphi started in the 400s BC, when Greece was at its strongest. It continued into the Roman era as if it was a parody of its former self, so the members of the churches of Greece and Asia Minor would have been very familiar with how Delphi worked. It was a shrine of the Greek god Apollo. In response to someone's questions, a priestess would go into a frenzy and start babbling. An attendant priest would then 'translate' the babble into some glittering generalities that could in some way be understood as an answer. Some of the best-known features of Greek philosophy streamed out from the Oracle's early years (for instance, it bred the saying "Know Yourself"); the great Greek philosophers were very good at finding jewels in waste water. The cult of Dionysis used rhythmic music, whirling dances, alcohol and/or herbal drugs, and magic spells to send peoples' souls out of their body (Greek ek stasis ) and into the presence of whatever deity or sub-deity was involved; this too sometimes caused strange sounds.
African animists, too, have long had ecstatic speech in their religions. But, just as glossolalia among Jews marked one as a prophet, glossolalia caused most African animists to foist onto the speaker the role of religious leader or priest, a heavy spiritual and cultural responsibility to lay upon an unprepared person. Wherever they have happened in the past, glossolalia and other extraordinary 'spiritual' happenings have not been, and have not really been allowed to be, a thing 'of the people', which could be a part of the otherwise-normal life of otherwise-ordinary people.
Deep in the gnostic book-hoard at Nag Hammadi, archaeologists discovered what may be the earliest, and perhaps one of the strangest, written instances of glossolalia. (Gnosticism arose at the same time as Christianity, and Gnostics were skilled at melding Christian devotions and spirituality to the un-Christian Gnostic framework -- to use a modern term, they tried to 'co-opt' Christianity.) While modern theologians give the unusual contents at Nag Hammadi much more attention than they deserve, a prayer introduction in *The Gospel Of the Egyptians* is a true attention-grabber. It reads roughly (very roughly) like this :
Ié ieus éó ou éó óua! O Jesus, bond of Yah's righteousness, O Living Water, O Child of Child, O glorious Name! Really truly, O Eon that is, iiii éééé eeee oo uuuu óóóó aaaaa, really truly éi aaaa óó óó! O One That Is, Seer Of the Ages! Really truly, aee ééé iiii uuuuuu óóóóóóóó, You who are eternally eternal, really truly iéa aió, in the heart, You who Are, You are what You are, ei o ei eios ei!
Even the translatable words are very iffy and full of vowels and mixed languages. Like modern glossolalia, it's got a lot of almost-words, divine titles, and 'really truly'. It's almost like a parody, it's so garbled, but it was serious in its intent. The ecstatic speech did not make the book's bizarre beliefs the slightest bit more true.
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