Glenreb says a big FUCK YOU to all who won't accept his Fucking Christian message

Thanks Snakey for the following video! It's just freaking entertaining watching this passionate Christian idiot spitting and swearing at a list of YouTube users who 'dare' to call themselves atheists. This guy is a freaking loon, and I've never seen anyone swear so much who wasn't a Citroen Mechanic.

I don't think it's entirely polite to openly mock people who have mental disorders. I do stop and watch crazy homelesss people, in wide-eyed fascination who wander down the streets screaming at invisible people, but I feel sorry for them at the same time. Perhaps this guy does have some sort of disorder... but then again, who doesn't?

This guy makes the fat wife-swapping funcy freakazoid look like... uh actually no, they're both equally and willfully ignorant. This nine minute video is worth watching and he only gets more revved up as it goes along. I bet the people whose names are on his list are proud as punch to be on it. Ha.

Jokes 4 Jeebus

Doug Stanhope has already beaten me to it and set up a comprehensive thumbnail list of the best and funniest Christian videos at his site. "Religion is all about silly, made-up stories, so let's point the finger at it and laugh."

Here's a classic stand-up comedy piece from his site that was also posted on Ex-Christian.net today. "Doug Stanhope - Would you Believe if...?"

• If you had never heard of the Bible and stumbled across it at a used book store... how quick would you recognise that as true? Would you say, "Yeah, yeah, the flood, the ark, this sounds incredibly true, this is exactly what I was looking for", you'd throw it in the trash would you not?

Marcus Brigstocke rants about religion

Transcript... with thanks to Mental Excretement

"I'd like to start this week with a request, and this one goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: the Muslims, Christians, and Jews. It's just a little thing, really, but do you think that when you've finished smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privledges while you do it, do you think that maybe the rest of us could sort of have our planet back? I wouldn't ask, but I'm starting to think that there must be something written in the special books that each of you so enjoy referring to that it's ok to behave like special, petulent, pugnacious, pricks.

Forgive the alliteration, but your persistent, power-mad punch-ups are pissing me off. It's mainly the extremists obviously, but not excllusively. It's a lot of 'main-streamers' as well. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.

Muslims: listen up my bearded and veily friends! Calm down, ok? Stop blowing stuff up. Not everything that said about you is an attack on the prophet Mohammed and Allah that needs to end in the infidel being destroyed. Have a cup of tea, put on a Cat Stevens record, sit down and chill out. I mean seriously, what's wrong with a strongly-worded letter to The Times?

Christians: you and your churches don't get to be millionairs while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules; either stick to them or abandon the faith. And stop persecuting and killing people you judge to be immoral. Oh, and stop pretending you're celibate -- it's a cover-up for being a gay or a nonce. Right, that's two ticked off.

Jews! I know you're god's 'Chosen People' and the rest of us are just whatever, but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it that doesn't make them anitsemitic. And for the record, your troubled history is not a license to act with impunity now.

Please don't kill us, seriously. As far as I'm concerned this is the only chance we get. When we die it's all over -- there's no virgins and pearly gates waiting for us, no big, beardy man saying:

[in deep, echoing voice and upper class accent] "Right, so how do you think that went, then? Killed a lot of people in my name I see. Not really what I had in mind. Um, tell you what, have another go as a worm."

This week Lydia Playfoot, who took Millay School in Horsham to the high court so
she could wear jewelry to prove she's staying a virgin for Jesus, lost her case.
Good. I'm glad. I don't care how many times her parents claim it was her idea,
rules is rules, and if you want to wear a ring that tells everyone you're not
having any sex you can get married like the rest of us.

Now, the lawyer for the chaste Miss Playfoot said the question for the judge was 'What are the religious rights of school children in the school context?' Well, I'm no judge (not yet, anyway), but if you want my opinion, none. No rights. No religious rights whatsoever. Schools are for learning. If you want to have a little pray to prevent the P.E. teacher from being a collossal pervert, then go head, fill your boots. If you want to pop on a feathered headdress and chant and dance and mumble and sacrifice something you can do that on your own time.

Now, I know that most relgious folk are moderate and reasonable and wear tidy jumpers and eat cheese, like real people. And on hearing this they'll mainly feel pity for me, rather than issue a death sentence. But they have to accept that they are the power base for the nutters. Without their passive support the loonies in charge of these faiths would just be loonies, safely locked away and medicated -- somewhere nice with a view of some trees where they can claim they have a direct channel to god between sessions making tapestry coasters, watching Teletubbies and talking about thier days in the Hitler Youth.

Imagine what humanity might be capable of if we had that much spare time! We could explore space properly, have decent look in the sea, find a cure for James Blunt, anything!

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Evan Almighty: The 40 year old Virgin Mary's Ark?

This Noah's Ark sequel is another 'Jim Carrey' sequel that is sans Jim Carrey (see Dumb and Dumberer, The Son of the Mask, Ace Ventura 3 [coming soon - unfortunately]) and apparently is the most expensive comedy ever made, coming in at 175 Million dollars. Just think how many Creation Museums one could have built for that money? - Eight or nine? This'll be a great movie for the Christian set who want a movie about a favourite Bible character without the blood, whipping and bloody gore. Yes, I'm talking about Rambo IV.

The movie is bad. So bad I gave up streaming it before the ship set sail. It's kind of like the Titanic in reverse - The ship is full of animals instead of people; it's based on a myth instead of a real incident; and in the end it doesn't sink... the movie did. This is the second blog this week I've done referencing the Titanic and I'm not sure if I can do a third. What's up with that?

Man, I love Steve Carell, he's the best, but he's gone the way of comedic family movie sell-out faster than Tim Allen or Eddie Murphy ever did in this Dr Dolittle meets the Santa Clause mess. I'm sure he got paid plenty for it, so who can blame him? Keep doing the Office and all is forgiven. The only way this movie would have worked is if the Ark set sail leaving a cameo Kirk Cameron left behind drowning in the flood of endless animal wee wee and poo poo jokes.

I'm not sure if I worked the Kirk Cameron reference in there logically, but all I've really been wanting to say is that this movie is as stupid as a Creationist Museum, and that Kirk Cameron is a shmuck. Bon Voyage...

Top 21 Good Things About Hell

- There's none of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.
- Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.
- Your "Do you smell something burning?" slays 'em, year after year.
- Plenty of legal help available for filing "wrongful death" lawsuit.
- Newly passed law: Three strikes and you're back in LA.
- Satan's confused attempts to torture masochists can be highly entertaining.
- Well, sure, it's hot, but it's a *dry* heat.
- Free prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily!
- Every Thursday is Karaoke Night, hosted by Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr.
- Prizes awarded for best crank phone calls to God.
- Everywhere you look, there's a smoking section!
- Big step up from Moranbah.
- Your little "blue flame" trick now produces spectacular results.
- Free Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement made back in early 80's).
- Now that you've followed her advice, you just might get that date with Cindy Crawford.
- 52 smmmmmokin' channels of Jim Carrey!
- Saturday night WWF tag-team bout between Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, and Hitler.
- Everyone gets a length of pipe and a daily crack at Nancy Kerrigan's knee.
- Fortune to be made on "Welcome, O.J." t-shirts.

Jesus Who?

Fundamentalist Horoscopes

Aries (March 21 - April 20) Even though it will turn out she was merely waiting for the bus, you'll glow with pride this weekend when your six year- old douses a girl's blouse with blood outside an abortion clinic - Tonight: Reach out to a family member you haven't chastised in awhile and give them an earful

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) After a natural disaster hits a part of the country with a high gay population you will become too preoccupied writing a violent screed to your local paper arguing your theory that God hates homosexuals to notice the huge tornado bearing down on your trailer park - Tonight: Pray like there's no tomorrow

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You and your friends will be outraged when the judge dismisses your defense that, in accordance with Exodus 35:2, it was your pious obligation to murder that Chinese family for operating their donut shop on a Sunday - Tonight: Resist any and all biological urges. Yes, even those...

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - You'll have a hard time deciding between the possibilities that either evolution is real or God hates you after a common Staph infection fails to respond to antibiotics and devours your entire leg - Tonight: Your suspicions that your child's pet hamster is possessed by the devil are valid - you know what you need to do

Leo (July 23-August 22) The party you go to this week will prove to be the usual dull affair of watching your friend's fat kids shovel hot dogsdown their throats followed by a round of Parcheesi, but at least nothing that transpires there will endanger your future reward of an eternity in heaven spent screaming in peoples' faces - Tonight: Bake a cake for Jesus

Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - Things will never be the same between you and your 13 year-old son after you realize he's bound for hell upon witnessing him humping the living room carpet while secretly watching Days of Our Lives - Tonight: Reenact notable scenes from The Passion of the Christ with friends and family

Libra (September 23 - October 23) Your belief that nobody is more fearful and pure than you is shaken when your spouse takes to sucking a pacifier, babbling incoherently and shitting his pants constantly - Tonight: Dress up as your favorite apostle

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) You'll realize that if only everyone took the initiative to read The Bible on their own, then everybody would know everything and we could all relax - Tonight: Its time to narrow the criteria for what qualifies as non-smut in your house

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 21) Finally fed up with all these environmentalists impeding the arrival of the Rapture, you'll spend an afternoon running around town in a frenzy, knocking over every recycling container you see - Tonight: Discover the gay agenda of something

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) Even though it was your retarded brother who impregnated her against her will at gunpoint, you'll be doubly pleased that your daughter is carrying twins - Tonight: Celebrate your goodly work with a glass of milk and a nice long stare at the wall

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) Despite all the lengths electronics manufacturers and the government have gone to in order to introducedevices that allow you the discretion of controlling what your family sees and hears on TV and radio, you insist upon promoting your theory that there is a time and a place for people to experience media you disagree with: Never and nowhere - Tonight: Be on the lookout for manifestations of biblical icons in your food

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You'll receive a visit from Guiness when it turns out that seventeen is a record number of adopted children torun away from any one household - Tonight: Show Jesus what he really means to you

Yo, God! Detectors (Be sure to read the comments)

How many times have we heard it said, "Oh, Lord, give me a sign!" Alas, too often the reply is vague and ambiguous: the phone rings at an opportune time, a feather falls from out of the blue, a water stain appears that resembles a religious image. We all want to know if God exists; maybe He just needs a reliable method to let us know He's here.

Set out your God Detector anywhere in your home, church, or office.

Offer a simple request or prayer that God reveal Himself through the detector.

Check your God Detector daily or weekly for any indication of movement.

Report any movement of the detector at this web site.

Be sure to come back to check out our reports of God Detector movement, which are sure to grow as the number of God Detectors increase — April, 2007, is Yo-God's 5-year anniversary, and currently there are over 3,500 God Detectors around the world! In any case, use our comments page to let us know your thoughts about the God Detector.

Tripod - Someday the Lord

Someday, the Lord's gonna take me away from here,

He'll take away all my misery and fear.

And He'll take me up to see a better place,

And the times we'll have will be completely ace.

And He'll say, "Go to sleep, my son",

Yes, He'll be like a Dad to me,

But a Dad with magic powers,

'Cause He's the Lord.


Someday, the Lord's gonna meet me at a party,

And He won't say, "You don't remember my name, do you?".

He won't embarass me or put me to shame,

He'll just be graceful and repeat His ----ing name.

And I will say to Him,

"It's nothing personal",

And He will understand,

'Cause He's the Lord.


Someday, the Lord's gonna like the movie "Tron",

And He won't laugh at me because I like it too.

And He'll go with me to Tron marathons,

And we'll dress up like Tron and buy Tron merchandise.

And we'll hunt autographs together,

And He'll let me stand next to Tron,

And He'll take the photograph,

'Cause He's the Lord.


For the Lord is a powerful man,

He can get you what you need.

He can have you resurrected,

He can get you some shit-hot weed.


Someday, the Lord's gonna find me a lovin' girl,

He'll set us up with a mansion and a trust fund.

And we won't have to do anything all day,

We won't have to work, or even have to play.

We'll be completely free of cares,

We'll be suspended in a tank,

And He will feed us through a tube,

'Cause He's the Lord.


I don't ask much from the Lord,

But I ask to be fed through a tube!

The First Page Of The Bible

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read ...

Copyright © 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved.

First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-Is-Shadowed
300 B.C.

All beings, places and events depicted in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.

WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals familiar with the action in question.

NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In no way should this be construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held responsible for the avalanche of arrogance, zeal, bigotry, humanocentricity and other vile acts which will surely follow the residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

DSBN 0-000000-0000-1

Suggested retail: 1 sheep

Beatlism

The Temple of Beatlism is an electronic house of worship and meditation, dedicated to the discovery of self and Universe through the contemplation of the "Inner Beatles".

The religion known as Beatlism has been around for about a year. It was developed by two ne'er-do-wells during a road trip to Las Vegas. The basic concept is this: inside of everyone, there are four Beatles. These Beatles are constantly interacting with one another to form your self: your spiritual, emotional, mental core. At different times and in different people, individual Beatles can gain predominance, and thus control of the self (i.e. you may be in a stage of "RINGO" or experience a "PAUL" phase).

The goal of life is to reach a balance of the inner Beatles. Known in some circles simply as "the upper John", this state realizes the ultimate coordination where the sum of the individual Beatles overcomes its parts. Furthermore, one must realize that there are two forces at work within us, that cause the dynamic change of the relationships between our inner Beatles. One of these forces, known as "the Yoko", acts to push the individual inner Beatles apart, and cause disharmony within the whole. The other, known as "the George Martin" acts to unify the four inner Beatles, and causes them to create new levels of consciousness within the self. The religion draws on a bizarre mixture of psychological, philosophical, and spiritual sources to explain these inner workings. As an organized church, the religion is in its early days. While a spiritual leader has been proclaimed (Pope George Ringo the Cannibal), there is as of yet no official place of worship or even a canon of laws. However, since debuting on the internet some 6 months ago, the faith has grown by leaps and bounds.

The message of Beatlism has reached the corners of the globe (references on request), as thousands have proclaimed their alliance to Pope George Ringo and the order of the Inner Beatles.

FUCK

"I have my own God, and I think my God finds me incredibly fucking funny. That's why I chose him as my God ... "..........Dennis Miller

I spent 17 years too Christian to allow myself to verbalise various words. I'd speak in tongues for hours, verbalising tonnes of absolutely fucking ridiculous phonems, but to say shit, fuck or kont, was blasphemous. Frank at 'The War on Faith' claims to have the largest collection of atheist jokes and therefore I welcome him to my link collection and pay homage with the following article that is helping me liberate my 'tongue' from forbidden words.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective(Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings - "How the fuck are ya?"

2. Fraud - "I got fucked by the car dealer."

3 - Resignation - "Oh, fuck it!"

4. Trouble - "I guess I'm fucked now."

5. Aggression - "FUCK YOU!"

6. Disgust - "Fuck me."

7. Confusion - "What the fuck.......?"

8. Difficulty - "I don't understand this fucking business!"

9. Despair - "Fucked again..."

10. Pleasure - "I fucking couldn't be happier."

11. Displeasure - "What the fuck is going on here?"

12. Lost - "Where the fuck are we."

13. Disbelief - "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"

14. Retaliation - "Up your fucking ass!"

15. Denial - "I didn't fucking do it."

16. Perplexity - "I know fuck about it."

17. Apathy - "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"

18. Greetings - "How the fuck are ya?"

19. Suspicion - "Who the fuck are you?"

20. Panic - "Let's get the fuck out of here."

21. Directions - "Fuck off."

22. Disbelief - "How the fuck did you do that?"

23. Anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."

24. Telling time- "It's five fucking thirty."

25. Business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"

26. Maternalistic - "Motherfucker."

27. Political- "Fuck George Bush!"

28. Lust - "Fuck me, baby!"

29. Dismissal - "Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?"

30. Almost every word in a sentence - "Fuck the fucking fuckers!"

The Daryl Hannah Argument (Normal Bob Smith)

I did not know Normal Bob existed. I still don't have proof, but I do have his website. I've been looking up and collecting the best (humourist, parody and satire) Anti-Christian websites and I somehow missed Normal Bog until now. Amazing... If you haven't read his website, then grab a cuppa and get ready, 'cause you ain't seen nothing yet.

Did you know that animals have no souls? It's true.When a puppy falls into a wood chipper, your chances of ever seeing him again are sprayed out the other side. Sure, animals may be nice and all but there just isn't enough room in heaven for every sewer rat that chokes on a toenail clipping. So why are you any different? At which stage of evolution did your soul appear? Some say that it was during the Cro-Magnon period (Portrayed by Daryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bear).

It could be argued that there is no such thing as a soul and that ghosts (and God) are as imaginary as mermaids. Daryl Hannah also portrayed a mermaid in the movie Splash (half human, half animal) which would raise many questions about her soul.

The Bible states that Mermaids only go to heaven from the torso up. Good thing she'll have wings. Daryl Hannah portrayed a replicant (androids that are almost indistinguishable from humans) in the movie Blade Runner, and according to scripture androids do not have souls god dammit! That's what it says!

It has also been argued that Neanderthals developed a soul during the Stone age.

I believe that we will remain soulless until our evolution back into apes.

My bedtime prayer

Landover Baptist's Pastor Deacon Fred addresses thousands of hellbound freethinkers in front of Congress at the Godless March on Washington.

Lord I know that I’m worthless... worthless… and a constant source of irritation to you. Thank you for not killing me today and not flinging my limp corpse into the sadistic hell you created. As a true Christian, I love you with all my heart - convenience permitting - and am glad that your nasty temper was not turned on me today.

Lord Jesus I know your love is unconditional, all you ask is that I do everything you demand, and flatter you regularly without shame or regard to the mess of everything you try to create. Lord Jesus, even though you made some noise about us giving away all our possessions to the poor, please guide our republican party to affect which that you most desire – tax cuts for folk rich enough to tithe.

In all three of ya all’s name, I pray.

HEROES - Christians with Super-Powers!

Miracles are great - they really are, or they would be if they actually happened. If they are true then all the lucky super-powered christian Heroes should get together and fight crime or do something useful with their powers, like feed the world or stop climate change. So, what super powers could they claim to have if they were all running at their full potential? Jesus said that they wouldd do greater things than he did, and really, that was a big statement wasn't it? According to Jesus they should be able to at least do the following and do them better.

Walking on water - I'd pay to see that, that there is a handy miracle. Would shoes get wet or would the fee actually be water repellant, just hovering above it? Either way this is a gravity defying miracle and therefore Christians should not only be able to walk on water, they should be able to fly.

Changing water into wine - Why can't all christians do this one..? they might get invited to more parties if they could. I'd sure as heck always make sure there was one of these 'heroes' at my parties.

Casting out demons - If I ever came across a demon, it would be great to send it into a herd of swine. Imagine the look on their faces as they get a red hot poker up the porky. It'd be priceless, they wouldn't know what hit them. I wonder what the bacon would taste like? Mmmm... smoked demon possessed ham... It's the forbidden apple in the mouth of a cooked pig that stops them from getting out.

Healing - Anything to save on health care and deter death would be neat. Hey, I'd even pay to not worry about bulk billing if these super-powered supernatural healings could be dished out better than Jesus could do it. If Jesus could do leprosy, then Christians should be able to turn the tide of Aids. Except that they're too busy waving signs at all the people they actually think have Aids.

Raising the dead - again that'd be awesome - full marks for this miracle - death sucks, it's been a real problem for a long time. Wrinkles are no good either. I say if they are gonna do better than Jesus on this one, not only do they have to re-animate the Lazuras' of today but also smooth out the wrinkles and unsightly scarring of whatever put them in the grave in the first place.

Invisibility - Apparently Jesus was able to get out of the clutches of a mad crowd by slipping throught the midst of them. He was sort of phasing out and moving through them invisibly. Michael Jackson is trying to achieve invisibility I think. He's gone from black to white to invisible... what? I don't see him anymore. But he's not Christian, so he can't top Jesus' trick... hmmm. I do hear of a lot of pastors who put their mittens in unwanted kittens, and then they disappear.

Ascending into heaven - That'd be cool to see. Defying gravity is always brilliant, especially if you wear a cape or flowing white robes. But like kilts, everyone is trying to look up them as you fly up into the atmosphere (where God is).

Loaves and fishes - I really really hope that works with KFC. I think this miracle is great and if I witnessed it... well, you'd never shut me up! I don't even think any of the mutated X-Men are able to generate food on that scale from slim pickings. Picard's Enterprise was able to though.

Calming the storms - Excellent... brilliant... America would really appreciate that and pay you heaps to stop another hurricane. Everyone loves X-Men's Storm, but not when she played Catwoman. Crossing from a Marvel character to DC is not a good choice in the movie business.

Speaking in Tongues - an unintelligible language... What the? Is that amazing? Is there a superhero that can do that? Tongueman? Gobbledygookboy? Wow, is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's ummm, it's some guy who can stutter - next. So, you can speak in tongues? and you admit it in public. If you seriously try and tell the rest of the world that it is a supernatural miracle to rival a bottomless bucket of KFC then you are fooling yourself and potentially many other naive wonderers. I'd be complaining and asking for one of the other powers.

Family Guy Evolution

It was a touchy subject for me, and others I'm sure, simply because of the idea that life is meaningless without god. It sounds to me like it's a psychological issue and nothing to do with reality. Suck it up and deal with the hand the universe dealt you I say. It doesn't care or revolve around us or our tiny planet. Ive seen enough theist arguments far too many times and they base their beliefs around some bronze age text written by camel dung smokin' nomads. Einstein certainly was not theist and certainly did not get any of his ideas from priests or the bible.

Evolution successfully describes the diversity of life, and has survived 150 years of the smartest men on the planet trying to debunk it and is one of the most tested theories on the planet. In return, all most Christians can do is say 'I don't believe it'. An empty argument, not backed up by any evidence, and usually founded on prejudice.

I think Creationists have lost the plot because of their perspective about the Earth's age. Time is an irrelevance and is actually a human construct. We count time by the amount of times we notice ourselves move around the sun, therefore when we start saying things are millions of years old they start to sound like unbelievably large numbers beyond our comprehension. Just imagine how long it took for dinosaurs to evolve then die out before another age of life took its place. You think it takes a while to microwave pizza!

To say life doesn't evolve is like saying cows are not mammals.

Ebolaworld Presents: Unbelievably Messed-Up Bible Stories: Adam and Eve

"You were sooo easy! Intelligent design my ass!" - Talking snake

You have to watch this flash cartoon.

WARNING! Contains nudity

Top 10 Reasons To Be An Atheist

Here is my personal top 10 list of reasons to be an atheist. Most of the items in this list could be categorized as 'top 10 reasons not to be a Christian', but you could easily substitute other religious beliefs as well.

10. No reason to listen to Christian contemporary music. Boy, does it suck! (especially the repetitively dull Hillsong happy happy joy crap).

9. Free to enjoy real life and not worry about an imaginary afterlife. We atheist look forward to a bright future for mankind and not to the destruction of the world in holy wars or Armageddon.

8. Atheists can sleep-in on Sundays. Of course, we realize that most self-proclaimed Christians also do this, but we don't have any guilt over it.

7. No Bible (or other holy book). We atheists don't have to spend an inordinate amount of time defending ridiculous ideas, contradictions and atrocities from 2 thousand year old books.

6. Guilt Free Mocking of Pope and other religious nuts. Religion has given the atheist a plethora of wonderful characters to deride and mock at will such as Pat Robertson, the Nazi-youth Pope and Fred Phelps.

5. SEX! Atheists do not feel obligated to be ashamed of our natural human instincts and biology. We can fully explore our sexual selves without any inappropriate guilt imposed by some fisherman or religious nut 2 thousand years ago (or any other author of religious texts).

4. No Rejection of Science and our own intellect. Atheists do not have to ignore scientific evidence which demonstrates the falsehoods of religious dogma. We are free to explore our intellect without any 'blind spots' imposed by faith. I suppose this is why the average atheist is smarter than the average believer.

3. Atheists are in Great Company. Atheists and agnostics have always been leaders in the advancement of mankind from primitive thinking to an enlightened view. Here is a great list of famous atheists. Even if we (atheists) are wrong, think of how much fun Hell is going to be! I am sure that Mark Twain has swindled Beelzebub from power and Einstein and Thomas Edison have probably worked out the whole Hellfire problem to achieve a climate not unlike St Petersburg, Florida.

2. No Sky Daddy. Is there anything creepier than the idea of a great 'Sky Daddy' looking down at you at every moment? Or even worse, your dead relatives peeking in on your life at inopportune moments. We atheists take responsibility for our own actions and answer to our fellow man, not to some Santa for adults.

1. No Christians after the Rapture! This is assuming that they are right, which is completely unlikely. But even so, could an atheist imagine a better world than one in which all the 'true believers' were suddenly whisked away to free the world of religious division and hatred and allow mankind to put our effort into improving the real world and this life for a change!

George Carlin on religion

#42, Life, the Universe, and Everything: An Interview with Douglas Adams

For the rare reader who does not already know all about him, Douglas Adams is the creator of all the various manifestations of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. He’s brilliant, he’s witty, he’s an Atheist, and he has quite a bit to say about Atheism, Agnosticism, and religion.

AMERICAN ATHEISTS: Mr. Adams, you have been described as a “radical Atheist.” Is this accurate?

DNA: Yes. I think I use the term radical rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “Atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘Agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean Atheist. I really do not believe that there is a god - in fact I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one. It’s easier to say that I am a radical Atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously. It’s funny how many people are genuinely surprised to hear a view expressed so strongly.

People will then often say “But surely it’s better to remain an Agnostic just in case?” This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usually edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I’ve been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Clintonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would chose not to worship him anyway.)

Other people will ask how I can possibly claim to know? Isn’t belief-that-there-is-not-a-god as irrational, arrogant, etc., as belief-that-there-is-a-god? To which I say no for several reasons. First of all I do not believe-that-there-is-not-a-god. I don’t see what belief has got to do with it. I believe or don’t believe my four-year old daughter when she tells me that she didn’t make that mess on the floor. I believe in justice and fair play (though I don’t know exactly how we achieve them, other than by continually trying against all possible odds of success). I also believe that England should enter the European Monetary Union. I am not remotely enough of an economist to argue the issue vigorously with someone who is, but what little I do know, reinforced with a hefty dollop of gut feeling, strongly suggests to me that it’s the right course. I could very easily turn out to be wrong, and I know that. These seem to me to be legitimate uses for the word believe. As a carapace for the protection of irrational notions from legitimate questions, however, I think that the word has a lot of mischief to answer for. So, I do not believe-that-there-is-no-god. I am, however, convinced that there is no god, which is a totally different stance and takes me on to my second reason.

I don’t accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me “Well, you haven’t been there, have you? You haven’t seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid” - then I can’t even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we’d got, and we’ve now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don’t think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don’t think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.

AMERICAN ATHEISTS: How long have you been a nonbeliever, and what brought you to that realization?

DNA: Well, it’s a rather corny story. As a teenager I was a committed Christian. It was in my background. I used to work for the school chapel in fact. Then one day when I was about eighteen I was walking down the street when I heard a street evangelist and, dutifully, stopped to listen. As I listened it began to be borne in on me that he was talking complete nonsense, and that I had better have a bit of a think about it. I’ve put that a bit glibly.

When I say I realized he was talking nonsense, what I mean is this. In the years I’d spent learning History, Physics, Latin, Math, I’d learnt (the hard way) something about standards of argument, standards of proof, standards of logic, etc. In fact we had just been learning how to spot the different types of logical fallacy, and it suddenly became apparent to me that these standards simply didn’t seem to apply in religious matters. In religious education we were asked to listen respectfully to arguments which, if they had been put forward in support of a view of, say, why the Corn Laws came to be abolished when they were, would have been laughed at as silly and childish and - in terms of logic and proof -just plain wrong. Why was this?

Well, in history, even though the understanding of events, of cause and effect, is a matter of interpretation, and even though interpretation is in many ways a matter of opinion, nevertheless those opinions and interpretations are honed to within an inch of their lives in the withering crossfire of argument and counterargument, and those that are still standing are then subjected to a whole new round of challenges of fact and logic from the next generation of historians - and so on. All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.

So, I was already familiar with and (I’m afraid) accepting of, the view that you couldn’t apply the logic of physics to religion, that they were dealing with different types of ‘truth’. (I now think this is baloney, but to continue...) What astonished me, however, was the realization that the arguments in favor of religious ideas were so feeble and silly next to the robust arguments of something as interpretative and opinionated as history. In fact they were embarrassingly childish. They were never subject to the kind of outright challenge which was the normal stock in trade of any other area of intellectual endeavor whatsoever. Why not? Because they wouldn’t stand up to it. So I became an Agnostic. And I thought and thought and thought. But I just did not have enough to go on, so I didn’t really come to any resolution. I was extremely doubtful about the idea of god, but I just didn’t know enough about anything to have a good working model of any other explanation for, well, life, the universe and everything to put in its place. But I kept at it, and I kept reading and I kept thinking. Sometime around my early thirties I stumbled upon evolutionary biology, particularly in the form of Richard Dawkins’s books The Selfish Gene and then The Blind Watchmaker and suddenly (on, I think the second reading of The Selfish Gene) it all fell into place. It was a concept of such stunning simplicity, but it gave rise, naturally, to all of the infinite and baffling complexity of life. The awe it inspired in me made the awe that people talk about in respect of religious experience seem, frankly, silly beside it. I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.

AMERICAN ATHEISTS: You allude to your Atheism in your speech to your fans (“...that was one of the few times I actually believed in god”). Is your Atheism common knowledge among your fans, friends, and coworkers? Are many people in your circle of friends and coworkers Atheists as well?

DNA: This is a slightly puzzling question to me, and I think there is a cultural difference involved. In England there is no big deal about being an Atheist. There’s just a slight twinge of discomfort about people strongly expressing a particular point of view when maybe a detached wishy-washiness might be felt to be more appropriate - hence a preference for Agnosticism over Atheism. And making the move from Agnosticism to Atheism takes, I think, much more commitment to intellectual effort than most people are ready to put in. But there’s no big deal about it. A number of the people I know and meet are scientists and in those circles Atheism is the norm. I would guess that most people I know otherwise are Agnostics, and quite a few Atheists. If I was to try and look amongst my friends, family, and colleagues for people who believed there was a god I’d probably be looking amongst the older, and (to be perfectly frank) less well educated ones. There are one or two exceptions. (I nearly put, by habit “honorable exceptions,” but I don't really think that.)

AMERICAN ATHEISTS: How often have fans, friends, or coworkers tried to “save” you from Atheism?

DNA: Absolutely never. We just don’t have that kind of fundamentalism in England. Well, maybe that’s not absolutely true. But (and I’m going to be horribly arrogant here) I guess I just tend not to come across such people, just as I tend not to come across people who watch daytime soaps or read the National Enquirer. And how do you usually respond? I wouldn’t bother.

AMERICAN ATHEISTS: There are quite a few lighthearted references to god and religion in your books (“...2000 years after some guy got nailed to a tree”). How has your Atheism influenced your writing? Where (in which characters or situations) are your personal religious thoughts most accurately reflected.

DNA: I am fascinated by religion. (That’s a completely different thing from believing in it!) It has had such an incalculably huge effect on human affairs. What is it? What does it represent? Why have we invented it? How does it keep going? What will become of it? I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I’ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing.