10 Best reasons Gay Marriage is wrong:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Meme for top hits from Google searches for my Blog

The World's Fair has started a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we'll take the other country specific ones if need be), you'll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.

"The Simpsons religion quotes" - I'm pretty honoured to have these excellent quotes from the Simpsons at the top of a Google search.

Christian Porn again - The bible way - Christian Porn sells man... does a dildo still make one girl a virgin? Ya know, if Jesus is the bride-groom and the 'church' is his bride then what happens on the honeymoon night? The church gets severely fucked over.

Christian Masturbation Mass-debate - A lot of very guilty feeling people are out there hiding tissue paper from god, but he can see under the mattresses.

"10 best reasons gay marriage is wrong" - I stole this post from someone else but it's getting good hits and lots of comments.

Christopher Hitchens Quotes - "God Ain't Gr8" - He may drink a lot but people still are curious about the intelligent ramblings he has to offer.

the oldest swingers sex game of stone age exposed (This came in second on Google) I've got a feeling that in a perfect world, we'd have all been swingers.

Dear tiny infant Jesus, with your baby Jesus powers (This came in third on Google) Dear sweet baby Jesus.

And now something completely off topic but I'll use the power of Google to send the clear message that John Howard needs to go! http://www.rightsatwork.com.au/

Evan Almighty: The 40 year old Virgin Mary's Ark?

This Noah's Ark sequel is another 'Jim Carrey' sequel that is sans Jim Carrey (see Dumb and Dumberer, The Son of the Mask, Ace Ventura 3 [coming soon - unfortunately]) and apparently is the most expensive comedy ever made, coming in at 175 Million dollars. Just think how many Creation Museums one could have built for that money? - Eight or nine? This'll be a great movie for the Christian set who want a movie about a favourite Bible character without the blood, whipping and bloody gore. Yes, I'm talking about Rambo IV.

The movie is bad. So bad I gave up streaming it before the ship set sail. It's kind of like the Titanic in reverse - The ship is full of animals instead of people; it's based on a myth instead of a real incident; and in the end it doesn't sink... the movie did. This is the second blog this week I've done referencing the Titanic and I'm not sure if I can do a third. What's up with that?

Man, I love Steve Carell, he's the best, but he's gone the way of comedic family movie sell-out faster than Tim Allen or Eddie Murphy ever did in this Dr Dolittle meets the Santa Clause mess. I'm sure he got paid plenty for it, so who can blame him? Keep doing the Office and all is forgiven. The only way this movie would have worked is if the Ark set sail leaving a cameo Kirk Cameron left behind drowning in the flood of endless animal wee wee and poo poo jokes.

I'm not sure if I worked the Kirk Cameron reference in there logically, but all I've really been wanting to say is that this movie is as stupid as a Creationist Museum, and that Kirk Cameron is a shmuck. Bon Voyage...

Has the universe always been here in some form, or did something create it at some point?

This is the Andromeda Galaxy - it looks a lot like our own I'm told - not that I've ever stepped back far enough to check out the similarities - but there are many many more like it to show that our galaxy is just one collection of spinning matter in what is an immeasurable expanse of space and 'stuff'. The interesting thing about our Milky Way galaxy (named after the famous chocolate bar) is that it's not actually big... it seems big because we're so small, it's relative, it is not huge, it is not immense and it may or may not be infinite. The incredible amount of galaxies that make up what we can see of our universe may in fact be just one cloud amongst many universes .

These steller bodies are moving, colliding and collapsing all over the shop and there's evidence to suggest that the universe has been doing so for billions and billions of years, and perhaps forever. There's no need to mystify the idea of time, because before we were intelligent enough to acknowledge and measure the movement of heavenly bodies we were happy to hunt by day, sleep by night, and die when we got too old to pump blood through our brains. Eternity isn't a supernatural concept best left for gods to calculate... like the size of the universe, it's relative albeit conceptual. The universe simply was and is and always will be - no matter how many pigs fart methane into the atmosphere of our little blue green orb.

Douglas Adams joked that the universe is so big and so randomly chaotic that chances are somewhere somehow there are lifeforms growing that could be useful to any interstellar hitchhiker. One planet somewhere surely has shifting spanners growing from trees, and animals that could easily be used as mattresses. I think it's amazing that this planet was lucky to have a temporary run of life on it long enough for its inhabitants to actually design and use a shifting spanner themself. When you consider the incredible numbers of planets spiraling and circling throughout this vast cosmos you must entertain the thought that for some bursts of time a planet would be in the rolling in the right place at the right time with the right conditions to allow moss to gather on it.

Now, if I were lucky enough to have been born into a planet that had the 'golden' measurements of being close enough to a sun, and protected by various larger planets around it, I'd feel very fortunate, and I do. This particular planet probably isn't the first to have encountered such idyllic conditions but you have to stand in awe of the probability factors involved when you happen to be on it. Of course, it seems like someone created it only because you aren't one of the impossible inhabitants that couldn't have possibly lived on the multi-billion other planets that can't sustain life.

You're bloody lucky to be alive and I seriously don't blame anyone for inventing a god to praise to concerning the delights of simple existence. Every culture we know of usually does this very thing. It's perfectly natural and normal to sing to the sky in appreciation, because most of the people we share the planet with don't seem to really appreciate existence enough to really marvel at it with the wide-eyed wonder it deserves.

Many people I've spoken to recently say that there must be a god, because the scenery here is bloody tremendous and a lot of female boobs look really really good. But this planet actually looks like crap compared to watching the Wallom beasts swimming through the molten mountains of Somtranus V in the Andromeda galaxy (pause). We have no basis of comparison and of course every type of vegetation filled crevasse looks quite interesting to us. The rock and continents have been shifting and eroding for billions of years to make many varied and interesting formations. It's a weather beaten planet that has evolved wildlife and vegetation over an unbelievable amount of time. It's when we try to fit it into the mythical six days and six thousand years of bible time that everything looks like it's science fiction.

And boobs look wondrous because if our programming didn't allow them to be then we would have died off ages ago. Of course boobs don't look appealing to all mankind, but that's ok... there's enough of us who do to keep the population rolling along until we collide with another planet and simply cease to be. Somewhere, sometime, another species will come into being that appreciates the landscape around them and may even have mammary glands that the other gender finds appealing.

The Borg of Heaven - The Bible describes the city of heaven as a 1500 mile cube, similar to Star Trek's Borg

The frightful story of Heaven and Borg (click for original article)

I tried to trim this down to an acceptable blog length but this is as far as I go. Can anyone tell me how you implement that blog feature which hides the bulk of the text but allows readers to "read more" if they choose? I can hardly explain it yet alone work it out.

I can't imagine a more frightening story than that of the Bible's heaven. Unfortunately most Christians believe heaven as a pleasant eternal vista for which their souls reside as one with their God, forever. Oh, but what they have misconstrued. According to the bible, heaven is a 1500 mile cube city, and its inhabitants have little freedom of expression.

The source of my interpretation comes not from me but from the Bible and from one of the worlds best-known scholars and an authority on the New Testament: Bruce M. Metzger, the Chairman of the NRSV Translation Committee. My only contribution is the comparison of the descriptions of heaven with the Borg from the Star Trek series.

The cube shaped city of heaven

"And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof. And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal." -Rev. 21:15-16 (12,000 furlongs to miles, you get 1500 miles)

The city refers to the new Jerusalem, the holy city, a metaphor for heaven. It represents the tabernacle of God where men will dwell with God. Bruce Metzger writes, "The city measures fifteen hundred miles in length, in breadth, and in height".

But how can a city be a cube? The description is architecturally preposterous, and must not be taken with flat-footed literalism." Of course we must not take the Borg cube literally either. It describes a vision from writers of a science fiction series, similar to the visions of John.

Yet if the city of heaven were in space, like the Borg, then indeed, a cube would serve quite well as a description. After all, isn't heaven usually thought of as 'the heavens above'?

Metzger continues: "In ancient times the cube was held to be the most perfect of all geometric forms. By this symbolism, therefore, John wants us to understand that the heavenly Jerusalem is absolutely splendid, with a harmony and symmetry of perfect proportions. Furthermore, he says that "the street of the city is pure gold (21:21)."

So also is the technical marvel of the Borg cube. Splendid is its design for a utopian world, filled with alien zombies, united as a Borg consciousness. So also is the description of the Biblical heaven, a perfect cube filled with believers, connected to a powerful mind-drain called God.

Metzger writes about the inner city of god: "There is no temple or sanctuary in the holy city, for in one respect, the city itself is all sanctuary. Its dimensions, being in the form of a cube, are like the Holy of Holies in the Mosaic tabernacle of old. The immediate presence of God is no longer in a reserved place, entered only by the high priest. . . God is now accessible to all."

Just like the Borg cube! All live for the unity of the one, the Borg.

About the Borg

The story of the Borg comes from the TV series, Star Trek, and the Star Trek movie, "First Contact."

The Borg consists of a collective consciousness of assimilated species where the concept of individuality has no meaning and freedom and self-determination are irrelevant. The Borg live in mechanical planets some of which are large cubes that roam the universe (see photo at the top). The Borg are extremely war-like and can destroy worlds (just like the God and angels of the Bible).

The social structure is like a bee hive. There is a Queen whose purpose is not breeding but rather acts as a central reference point around which the collective will and purpose of the hive revolves (like the God of heaven).

The Enterprise first meets the Borg in space where they are asked to "Lower your shields." This is similar to religion demanding to submit to faith and lower the shields of skepticism. The Borg commands that "Your culture shall adapt to service ours. Resistance is futile...... Your defensive capabilities are unable to withstand us. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this time forward, you will service us. You must comply." (In the Bible, God demands obedience and if you do not comply, your life will end).

As long as you submit to the Borg, you will be taken care of. Once you submit, you become assimilated you will dwell in the Borg cube forever. The Borg appears similar in concept to the tabernacle of God:

And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. - Rev. 21:3

The 'assimilated' (the saved) beings in the Borg do not die, nor do they feel pain or sorrow. They are, in effect, zombies who fully accept their condition. The inhabitants of heaven, also do not feel pain or sorrow (Rev. 21:4).

Whether the Star Trek writers intended to make an allegorical comparison with heaven is unclear, but the similarities are uncanny. There is even a Borg unit named "Third of Five" (like the third angel in Rev. 8:10), the Queen God (like the woman in Rev. 12:1).

In explaining the purpose within the collective, the Borg Queen replies to Lt. Commander Data:

"I am the beginning. The end. The one who is many. I am the Borg... I am the Collective. I bring order to chaos." Note how similar this is to Jesus in Revelation 21:6:

"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.

About the Heavenly inhabitants

The most information about Heaven comes from the alleged visions of a man named John in the book of Revelation. No one here intends to take these visions literally. This is a story folks, just like Star Trek!

Metzger says that, "in reporting his visionary experiences John frequently uses
symbolic language. Sometimes he explains the meaning of the symbols. Other symbols really need no explanation."

But if anyone thinks the heaven of the Bible is a peaceful and pleasant place filled with beautiful beings, think again:

"And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle. And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHICH WAS, AND IS , AND IS TO COME." - Revelation 4: 6-8

What a frightening vision! Beasts like animals full of eyes hardly imparts a comforting image of heaven. And imagine having to put up with the constant day-and-night howling of HOLY, HOLY... My what a vain god.

"And I beheld, and lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth." - Revelation 5:6

Here we have the representation of Christ (Lamb), with seven horns and seven eyes. And again, the beasts. Metzger says, "The Lamb is described as having seven horns and seven eyes. This should not be taken as a literal description. Rather, the seven horns means that Christ has complete power, and the seven eyes mean that he sees and knows all things." The Queen Borg also represents the power and the knowledge for the Borg.

Anyone who works for a corporation knows the uncomfortable feeling when the boss looks over your shoulder. Now imagine that when you die, you'll be watched by the biggest Boss in the universe, EVERY NANOSECOND OF ETERNITY! Kiss your cherished secrets goodbye. There's no such thing as privacy in heaven.

Thankfully only 144,000 will reach heaven - The Bible explicitly tells how many will be "saved":

...the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. - Rev. 14:3-4

Metzger writes, "The first part of chapter 14 is a scene of tranquillity and rejoicing. John sees the Lamb, standing on Mount Zion, with the 144,000 of the redeemed. . . 144,000 is a symbolic number, representing all those who remain faithful. . . On the surface this means that only men who have never had sexual intercourse can 'follow the Lamb wherever he goes'. . . but rather he means those who have not defiled themselves by participating in pagan worship."

Sitting for eternity with 14399 tribal men in a cube, with the absence of women & sex, paying homage to a wrathful war god surrounded by multi-eyed beasts (symbolically speaking, of course), and having to listen to a never ending chant of HOLY-HOLY is not my cup of tea. Thank you very much, but I'd rather remain peacefully dead for eternity than suffer the entertainments from this vainglory god.

Conclusion

Both the Star Trek version and the Biblical account of heaven presents a frightening but interesting story about submitting to a powerful entity in a utopian world devoid of personal freedom.

If I were to believe the Bible, I could not in all good conscious accept the horrors of the heavenly God as truthful, but rather, as a tale invented by the most evil being imaginable. Only an evil power could construct such a figure of God as a ruler who only dispenses forgiveness as long as they submit to His will. The God of the Bible resembles a slave owner who punishes his servants with an iron rod or kills them if they do not obey. A benevolent God would not construct a book with so many horrors, contradictions and falsehoods. An all powerful God who wished to reveal himself could easily prove himself to all people directly; he would not need a book, a priest, or a religion.

As a non-believer, I can enjoy fiction and can postulate meaning from allegorical myths. The story of the Borg presents us with a juicy tale of utopian heaven where its citizens cannot think for themselves. The Borg inhabitants live in accordance with a communal system, each unit living "happily" within the system, uncannily like the subjects of religion who submit themselves to a superstitious god who demands love and submission.

Both Star Trek and the Bible represent mythical stories and they both contain messages that we can learn from. I find the ethics of Star Trek superior to that of the Bible and provides a much better example for healthy living than the cruel submission methods used in the Bible. Star Trek promotes cooperation and tolerance while the Bible promotes intolerance and submission to faith. I do not believe in Star Trek or the Bible, but if I had to choose, I would prefer to live and die on an Enterprise rather than conform to the Borg and I would rather die a non-believer than submit myself to the horrors of the bee-hive of heaven.

Live long and prosper.

Religious Symbolism Found in the Wizard of Oz

Dor-o'thy(the symbol of the Door- to heaven/Oz) carries SEVEN books (the Bible), which are bound (sealed), while running Home (to Heaven) with her Dog (dogma, the symbol of "God", 2 Sam 17:43). The dog is hurt by the Wicked Witch, Ms. Gulch, whose name is mentioned SEVEN times in the movie- 7 symbolizes "God"- meaning that the dogma is hurt by the God of Fire (which is the symbol of Ms. Gulch, the Witch).

The Triangle (Angle of the Trinity), represented also by a pyramid, hangs from a tree. It is used for a Dinner Bell to call people to the Last Supper (spiritual knowledge given before the death of the religion).

Auntie Em inspires us to "count" (because the incubator went out???), and ends on the number "SEVENTY" (Exo 1:5).

Dorothy falls from the wall (like Humpty Dumpty/ the Eggman) to the right side (as opposed to 'wrong'?) away from 12 pigs (the Apostles). Biblically speaking, the swine/PIGS are "demonic spirits" in the hearts of the greedy (Luk 8:33). Auntie Em says that there's no place for Dorothy around a pigsty (The Old World is the symbolic Pigsty, with everyone driven by greed). Dorothy prophesies the Land of Oz, "behind the moon" (the Moongod "Sin" where Mt. Sinai got its name), "beyond the rain" (reign of Jesus). "Somewhere over the RAINBOW" (the rainbow is the sign from God, a covenant to Noah that the earth will never again be destroyed like it is about to be, Gen 9:13).

Dorothy continues, "The dreams that you dare to dream really do come true"... when we get over the rainbow (get 'over with'/finish with the reign {Jesus} who we "bow" to, who comes from the sky (Heaven) on a white horse with a "bow" (Rev 6:2). The dog's (God of Love, man's best friend) life is threatened by the witch, Miss Gulch (the God of Fire). The dog is thrown into the basket with a chained cross on it. Two more triangles (now totaling three/Trinity) are the bridge to the Wizard (The God of the future). The triangle also represents the Egyptian symbol of longevity/ everlasting life. The Wizard sets down just below a heart shaped bush.

Just as Dorothy is saying, "Why it's just like you could read what was inside of me," look at the dark arm holding an upside-down heart, and an upside down cross next to her mouth (in another view of the same scene, it is not there). This means that things are upside down from what they seem to be, and we need to read the signs that are inside the Dorothy metaphor. She is the symbol of hope and Home (Heaven). There are three dogs in the movie (The Trinity), Toto and two hotdogs (just like the one good witch and the two bad ones). Toto eats the hotdog ("dog eat dog"). The Wizard says, "As one dog to another" (one "God" to another). In the wagon, having lit two candlesticks (Rev 11:4), the Wizard sits below the heart-shaped head with a snake (serpent/devil) coming out of the 'BACK' of it.

Behind Dorothy's head to the left (not 'right') is a pentagram (pagan symbol of the Goat, demon which will eat/learn anything).

The picture that the Wizard takes from Dorothy's basket has an 'A' on the door. Look at the upper right edge of the picture also.

The Wizard mentions the Pharaohs of Egypt (most of the Bible stories have been known to come from the Egyptian hieroglyphics once the code was broken on the Roseta Stone). Notice the skull (symbol of death) above the door, as he continues to speak of a loved one at home with a broken heart. The crystal (symbol of clarity) goes dark (evil). While the house is spinning in the twister, the boat is rowed across the sky (The Egyptian's symbolic boat {ark} transports the souls of the dead into the New World, from which the Noah metaphor was taken). The cock crows (Mar 14:72).

The post on Dorothy's house appears to cast the shadow of a cross.

Dorothy is the munchkin's "miracle", having come from the sky like Jesus is expected to do at the Second Coming (actually it would be his "third"... they miscounted).

As mentioned by Glinda, the dog (God) is thought to be a Witch, which is also symbolized by the darker "dog burn dog" (dogma burn dogma) history of the church (they each feel that they are the true religion, while the others that have 'missed the boat' will burn in hell).

A cross hangs in the torn curtain above the dead Witch of the East (showing that part of the Trinity to symbolize spiritual death, the religion from the East).

The Trinity comes in all sizes, shapes and types, yes even blowing trumpets (a biblical symbol). The Dwarves (munchkins), are used as a symbol of resurrection in Norse mythology, having sprang from the decaying body of Yir. They made the chain that binds the wolf-monster (dog/god monster).

The Wicked Witch from the West comes in the fire. The Witch of the East is "dead spiritually" (confirmed by the munchkins) and her shoes (roots) are removed from her (to insure that type of spirit will not take root in the New World).

Glinda, The Good Witch says, "It's always best to start at the beginning. Follow the Yellow Brick Road." (Heaven is thought to have streets of gold). At the CROSS-roads (the Christian cross), Dorothy released the nail that held the scarecrow to the cross (Jesus was metaphorically nailed to a cross, tree and/or a post, Gal 6:14, Acts 10:39, Num 21:8). The Scarecrow, who symbolizes Christianity (trying to scare the dark birds/spirits away), needs a brain (enlightenment). And he mostly fears the fire that he symbolizes, because he knows he must reap what he has sown.

A man made of tin (mankind was without a heart) wants to be human, but is stopped by the rain (reign of Jesus). His mouth was the first to work by the oil (enlightenment, Exo 35:28). They take the right road (they go the right way). The Scarecrow says that it will get darker before it gets lighter (first will come the Tribulation, then their enlightenment because of it). The Lion holds a sad tail (tale), but he represents the Lion of the Tribe of Judah (Judas), Rev 5:5, who finally builds up enough courage to take on the God of Fire, the Wizard (a man/mankind is hiding behind the altar of fire).

The witch hides by the tree (symbol of the "tree of knowledge") which is evil. And these evil trees (humans) threw apples (the forbidden fruit) at them. This also helps to show that "trees" in the Bible symbolize "mankind" (as presented in Rom 11:24). The poppies (drugs), seen in the Crystal (meth), block the road to the Emerald City (heaven). It causes them to sleep (spiritual slumber, Gen 2:21). But they survive, and make it to Oz (the New World).

The Lion says, "Come to think of it, forty winks wouldn't be bad." Forty is the symbolic number for Lennon (see Anthology, look for 'wink').

Her ruby red slippers (red shoes/ bloody roots/beginning) gain her entrance into the Emerald City (Heaven).

They see the white horse (the Second Coming) change into three more colors (the Trinity). Four colors total (the four horsemen of the Apocalypse maybe?).

The Wizard is sad for them. He shows himself as the God of Hell-Fire but he really isn't evil at all. The Scarecrow (Christianity) is the only one who bows down to him (to show that he is the symbol of the religion). The Lion (of the tribe of Judah) dives through the Window (Internet/innerNET) and is very soon afterward seen carrying a NET.

The Tin Man's body raises up into the air (like the Christians expect to happen to them upon the 2nd Coming of Christ). The Wicked Witch says, "I've sent some insects to take the fight out of them." There are no insects shown in the movie (perhaps Locusts? Rev 9:7). The red (bloody) hourglass runs low. The Tin Man (mankind) holds onto the tail (tale/Bible) on the uphill climb to save Dorothy (the Doorway). The crosses, flanking the doorway to the Witch's castle, are on "fire".

The guards are hit by the falling cross of fire. The Wicked Witch (which symbolizes "fire") is killed by the Water ("people", Rev 17:15), which was meant to save the Scarecrow (the Christians). They return to Oz with the Broom of Fire (new clear cleansing of the Earth). God (the Wizard) says, "I give you an audience, are you ungrateful?" The Scarecrow, gets one of 'three' (Trinity) diplomas, giving him brains now (enlightenment), and states that both sides of the Triangle (the Trinity) are equal. The Lion gets the 'triple cross' (the cross of the Trinity) which hangs on his heart. The Tin Man gets his heart (mankind becomes human), but it has a clock on it (the clock is ticking). Dorothy concludes that this heaven (Oz), of our dreams, is not our real Home.

The doorway to that place called Home (heaven) is the knowledge that we are already there, by way of- as the Wizard Of Oz says, "E Pluribus Unim."...which is written on the 'seal' of the dollar bill, across from the Masonic Temple/ Egyptian pyramid of enlightenment- aka The Luxor - mentioned twice in the movie. "Money" (an Emerald World of Wealth) is our Heaven once we receive our inheritance (Num 36:3). Dorothy touches the Lion's heart. Dorothy says that she would miss the Scarecrow most of all (Christianity). The Wizard (the God of Fire) goes away back into Heaven.

Dorothy taps her red heels together three (Trinity) times.

Back at home they thought Dorothy was dead (they lost the doorway), but she survived (was resurrected). Dorothy says don't look farther than your own backyard (don't look back too far, look forward). There's no place like Heaven

If I'd only had a brain...

The 10 Craziest Things Rev. Jerry Falwell Ever Said

10. "The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country."

9. "The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews."

8. "I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!"

7. "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh's charioteers ... AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

6. "Nothing will motivate conservative evangelical Christians to vote Republican in the 2008 presidential election more than a Democratic nominee named Hillary Rodham Clinton - not even a run by the devil himself ...certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate. She has $300 million so far. But I hope she's the candidate. Because nothing will energize my [constituency] like Hillary Clinton. If Lucifer ran, he wouldn't." --at a "Values Voter Summit"

5. "Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."

4. "Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America."

3. "He is purple — the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a triangle — the gay pride symbol." –from a "Parents Alert" issued in Jerry Falwell's National Liberty Journal, warning that "Tinky Winky," a character on the popular PBS children's show, "Teletubbies," may be gay

2. "You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm for the president to chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord."

1. "The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" --on the 9/11 attacks.

Daniel Kurtzman,

The truth about atheism exposed

This must be a parody website. It has to be... because it's bloody funny.

The truth about Atheism exposed

There is a group at large in society that hates God. A group that denies the truth about His son Jesus Christ, Our Savior. A group that spits on the American dream. People who don’t care if you live or die. They don’t even feel anything for their own mothers! They are disgusting, immoral and hateful. They are the Atheists.

A typical Atheist. Look at his stupid hat! And the way he hides his eyes from God’s light.

But who are these Atheists who are more dangerous than the members of the bomb-crazy America-hating Muslim faith and, crucially, what do they believe? How can you spot one? What is the history of this mad un-belief system? And what should you do if you are unlucky enough to come across one? Tristan Shuddery’s expose of ‘Atheist Troublemakers’ recently on STR.com has made imperative that these questions are answered.

1) They will do anything and stop at nothing:

Perhaps the most terrifying thing about Atheists is that they don’t have what scientists call a “moral compass”. They don’t have any values. They basically don’t know the difference between right and wrong. How could they? They don’t have a God to guide them. “Where do you think American lawmakers got the idea that we shouldn’t murder, steal or rape? Answer: the Bible. If you athiests had your way, the nation would be a bloodbath like Nazi Germany or Stalinist Russia. Both fascism and communism are based on Athiesm.”

2) Following on from point one there are two basic corollaries:

a) Because Atheists have no values they see things such as pedophilia as being quite ok. That’s why, for instance, they fill up the internet with their vile porn filth and they are always at the forefront of the pro-abortion (ie, anti-life!) lobby. After all, why should they care.

b) Most criminals are atheists, or, conversely, most atheists (ie all of them!) are criminals (they just haven’t all been caught yet).

Atheists make Our Lord Jesus cry. Please stop it, Atheist renegades!

3) Atheists do not worship Satan.

By denying God they, of course, take on the Devil and will join him in hell, but Atheists claim that they do not even believe in the Devil. They believe in nothing!

4) It’s not true that no one really is an Atheist.

Some good Christians believe that Atheists are just “pretending” to deny Jesus and making a stance to be somehow “controversial” like rebellious teenagers. Sadly, this isn’t true. Their brains have been so twisted and bent out of shape by Liberal propoganda and drug abuse that they have genuinely convinced themselves out of the self-evident truth of a Christian God.

5) Atheists think they’re cleverer than you.

One of the most annoying things about Atheists is that their mad lack of belief actually makes them feel somehow superior to real Christians. Rejecting decent honest faith and belief they use things like a reliance on “scientific methodology”, “reasoned argument”, “historical evidence”, “documentary proof” and “logic” to baffle and confuse. Instead of accepting the obvious reality that the Bible is God’s word, they try to claim that the Gospels were written hundreds of years after the death of Jesus, that there were hundreds of other similar books rejected by committee at something called the council of Nicea and that most of the New Testament was compiled out of political expediency. They say that many of the Jesus stories existed long before Jesus was said to have been alive and that most of his sayings and parables aren’t that impressive anyway. They are wrong.

The Bible. The guidebook for American life and wholly holy. Why won’t atheists accept this?

6) Atheists hate Christians and Christianity. They are jealous because they know that we are going to heaven. They want to destroy us and everything we stand for. They want to forbid Christianity, raise taxes and disband our armies.

7) Atheists are nearly all druggists. Far from the warm love of God, believing that they are spinning round on a cold rock in the middle of an empty universe and thinking that they will never see their favorite family pets again in heaven (which of course they won’t since they’re going to hell! Sorry atheists!), atheists wrap themselves up in what they see as a comforting narcotic embrace. They smoke jazz-cigarrettes, inject themselves with heroin and manufacture crystal-meth in their kitchens. Their brains and bodies are ruined.

A crystal meth user. Is she an Atheist? I wouldn’t be surprised.

9) Atheists don’t know anything about Christianity. How could they? If they did, they’d worship God instead of spending their whole time off their faces on illegal drugs, protesting about just wars and making trouble.

10) Atheists lives are cold and empty. Atheists have no appreciation for anything. Period. Because they do not believe in God and have no sense of awe, Atheists can not understand beauty or anything wonderful. To them a rainbow is just a coincidence of light particles seen through water vapor rather than a miracle. Art is meaningless to them and music is just a series of different pressure effects upon the ear drum; that’s why their music (rock, hip hop and something called techno) is so bad.

They love nobody. Nobody loves them. They are depressed and nihilistic, believing that after death there is nothing for them. Then they die and go to hell. It’s awful. Do you want to be an Atheist? Me neither.

HEROES - Christians with Super-Powers!

Miracles are great - they really are, or they would be if they actually happened. If they are true then all the lucky super-powered christian Heroes should get together and fight crime or do something useful with their powers, like feed the world or stop climate change. So, what super powers could they claim to have if they were all running at their full potential? Jesus said that they wouldd do greater things than he did, and really, that was a big statement wasn't it? According to Jesus they should be able to at least do the following and do them better.

Walking on water - I'd pay to see that, that there is a handy miracle. Would shoes get wet or would the fee actually be water repellant, just hovering above it? Either way this is a gravity defying miracle and therefore Christians should not only be able to walk on water, they should be able to fly.

Changing water into wine - Why can't all christians do this one..? they might get invited to more parties if they could. I'd sure as heck always make sure there was one of these 'heroes' at my parties.

Casting out demons - If I ever came across a demon, it would be great to send it into a herd of swine. Imagine the look on their faces as they get a red hot poker up the porky. It'd be priceless, they wouldn't know what hit them. I wonder what the bacon would taste like? Mmmm... smoked demon possessed ham... It's the forbidden apple in the mouth of a cooked pig that stops them from getting out.

Healing - Anything to save on health care and deter death would be neat. Hey, I'd even pay to not worry about bulk billing if these super-powered supernatural healings could be dished out better than Jesus could do it. If Jesus could do leprosy, then Christians should be able to turn the tide of Aids. Except that they're too busy waving signs at all the people they actually think have Aids.

Raising the dead - again that'd be awesome - full marks for this miracle - death sucks, it's been a real problem for a long time. Wrinkles are no good either. I say if they are gonna do better than Jesus on this one, not only do they have to re-animate the Lazuras' of today but also smooth out the wrinkles and unsightly scarring of whatever put them in the grave in the first place.

Invisibility - Apparently Jesus was able to get out of the clutches of a mad crowd by slipping throught the midst of them. He was sort of phasing out and moving through them invisibly. Michael Jackson is trying to achieve invisibility I think. He's gone from black to white to invisible... what? I don't see him anymore. But he's not Christian, so he can't top Jesus' trick... hmmm. I do hear of a lot of pastors who put their mittens in unwanted kittens, and then they disappear.

Ascending into heaven - That'd be cool to see. Defying gravity is always brilliant, especially if you wear a cape or flowing white robes. But like kilts, everyone is trying to look up them as you fly up into the atmosphere (where God is).

Loaves and fishes - I really really hope that works with KFC. I think this miracle is great and if I witnessed it... well, you'd never shut me up! I don't even think any of the mutated X-Men are able to generate food on that scale from slim pickings. Picard's Enterprise was able to though.

Calming the storms - Excellent... brilliant... America would really appreciate that and pay you heaps to stop another hurricane. Everyone loves X-Men's Storm, but not when she played Catwoman. Crossing from a Marvel character to DC is not a good choice in the movie business.

Speaking in Tongues - an unintelligible language... What the? Is that amazing? Is there a superhero that can do that? Tongueman? Gobbledygookboy? Wow, is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's ummm, it's some guy who can stutter - next. So, you can speak in tongues? and you admit it in public. If you seriously try and tell the rest of the world that it is a supernatural miracle to rival a bottomless bucket of KFC then you are fooling yourself and potentially many other naive wonderers. I'd be complaining and asking for one of the other powers.

God is good, God is great, God kills and murders

The Which one of the following statements is false?

1) God is omnipotent.
2) God could not free the Jews in Exodus, without killing children.

God went on huge killing sprees in the old testament when he was in his 4000 year old bad mood of rage and smoting - Was it PMS perhaps - Pre Messiah Syndrome? You would have thought he'd have been in a worse mood after his creation nailed up his favourite son to a big T... T for trouble! But nah, we're all forgiven because of that awesome sacrifice, however that works.

Before he got all lovey dovey and nice he racked up a pretty huge body count. The guy on the following website estimates 2,270,365 dead in his moody acts of genecide.

Bible body count

And god has no problem killing babies and children and innocent bystanders. The crazy part is that Christians have trained themselves to gloss over this baby killing aspect of God. Some might even be reading this sentence in their minds with a delete key tidying up the mess as they go. They either throw it into their brain's recycle bin or they condone the mass baby killing as the act of something they believe is infinitely more wiser than we.

"All the little cute bundles of widdle biddie joy.. giggling and goo-gaaing. Slaughtered at God's command. Slaugtered and spared not!" - ... okay.. press erase... ...now!

The New testament writers jumped on this bandwagon and thought.. "Well, God doesn't have a problem killing babies, let's write in a son for him, (an only son- they Jumped the shark on this one to get more readers) let's have him.. ummm... allow his only son to die.. no no.. don't write off the character forever.. just have him die for a few days.

God is not mocked (He's in denial?)

Please, for your own sake, stop mocking God and His people. The famous, John Lennon, and Anna Nicole Smith (just to name 2) and many other not so famous, have done so at their own peril. Please don't be included with these unfortunate people.

"Mock" verb: ridicule, deride, insult, jeer, laugh at, parody, scoff, scorn, show contempt, sneer, taunt.

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked, for what ever a man sows, so shall he reap." Galatians 6:7

I found that letter at the Landover Baptist site and it's amazing that I still cower a little bit when I write something funny about Christianity. That's definitely because of my upbringing and I'm also aware of how family members would be shocked to see me lampooning their religions. Truth is there isn't much else I find funnier, so go with it I say.

It's a little like the tingly feeling you get when you go to the mirror and say 'Bloody Mary' three times. You know it's a scary campfire story, but it doesn't stop your imagination from wondering if the Candyman of Bloody Mary will come seeking after your blood. Go to the mirror now... try it. If I had hairs on the back of my neck they'd be raised.

I've seen other people respond to the blasphemy challenge and it seems therapeutic to me. Perhaps it's my internal way of saying, "C'mon God, if you are real, then punish me for promoting the idea that you don't actually exist." God is not mocked?.. the bible says... well, that's not true - he's mocked all the time. So I challenge him to make me bald. I think baldness suits a lot of people, but it wouldn't me, so there... he can strike me with that, 'cause we all know anyway that God hates barbers and I'll have less reason to see them.

So... if God is not mocked actually means there'll be a mummy's curse on my ass for taunting him then I'm in for some bad mojo or karma? Well, bring it on. I don't think there's anything to fear though - really. You see I've reasoned his existance with the brain and intellect he would have given me to do so. I spent 33 years studying and following his Bible as best I could (I thought I'd at least give it a go for the same amout of time Jesus supposedly lived for) and I decided, "Nup, this smells stranger than rotten platypus eggs".

I can't get done in for wilfull ignorance because I gave it a good hot go and I weighed up the pros and cons as best I could with the information available to me, and processed it as best I could with the only grey matter I had in me.

If perchance there does happen to be a Fairy Godfather tiptoeing through the universe after all and wants to punish me for eternity for not working out the fact that he was actually there... well, I'll just have to take whatever's coming. There won't be any reasoning with a shmuck like that.

In the name of the Google, the Blogger, and the holy Gmail

I've always been a follower. I don't really see myself as having good leadership qualities, but for some strange reason I keep getting myself into leadership positions. I'd prefer to follow blindly, but I've come to realise that doing so only rips the bloody veins out of my arms so they can be pulled on 'puppet-style' by the people who do see themselves as leaders (Ala Nightmare on Elm st III - and an interesting visual it was).

I'll tell you what I do follow blindly, and with naive child-like faith. Please allow me to give some praise and worship to... Google. Ahh, Google, sweet Google, your simple white screen splashed ever so lightly with a large, friendly, primary coloured, serif fonted title is sheer minimalist beauty. With almost limitless space available, I don't care if my computer crashes... just about everything I hold important is stored at g-mail, Picasa or blogspot. Google things I love.

• Youtube videos (see the links above) - Great for watching Pen&Teller's 'Bullshit' and other bullshit.
• Picassa photo albums - I nearly have my whole album online which is fantastic news for anyone who happens to be stalking me. My regular blog has links to them. I welcome stalkers, as long as they leave presents and money at my door.
• Gmail - if anyone is using other e-mail systems, I really feel sad for you.
• G-spot - did these guys invent this? Wouldn't surprise me.
• April Fool's Jokes - I get suckered everytime... I honestly believed them when they said their new Google print feature would send emails physically to people's letterbox addressed if they didn't have computers - sigh... gullible, trusting Google loving me.
• The toolbar - No matter what computer you use, once you log in, all your bookmarks and stuff is right there with you!
• Blogger - what can I say, it beats the pants off other blog systems for its features and ease of use.

Speaking of blogspot, I've just about finished tinkering with this site. I keep finding cool new widgets to add to the right panel and I'm finding it difficult to stop adding in more things that clutter it up (sorry if you use dial-up). There's my father in me - he can't stop tinkering... he tinkers with stuff until they get too ugly to look at or too crammed to use. I hate having that passed onto me. I've even let Google put some advertising on the blog because they deserve it (ha) but it's sort of ironic because they put advertisements to churches and christian things. I won't question the wisdom of Google.

I better do some personal blogging rather than cut and pasting stuff from other sites. That's far too easy, but I did want to throw Douglas Adam's interview here because I'm a huge fan. As for chocolate Jesus; well, I collated those three stories into one and the formatting too AGES, therefore I will claim some ownership. I'm a huge fan of chocolate too; all I need now is a chocolate Hitchhiker's guide. See the links in the RSS feeds to see all the stuff I wanted to cut and paste here but didn't.

So now here I am just having finished building my Google field of dreams and am waiting for customers to leave comments of abuse, love and indifference. I started this blog because I used to sprinkle all these sort of thoughts into my regular family blog, but that just made it overly messy and as Jo said, "no one wants to hear that crap", so I put the crap no one wants to read here instead. I've spent my whole life being religious and I seem to be spending a large part of it now being specifically non-religious. Easter's on us now and I'm just happy that it's all about the chocolate for me... and not about the Roman crucifixion torture story.

I'm too sexy for your bible

I'm too sexy for your creed
Too sexy for your church
So sexy that it hurts!
And I'm Too sexy for your God!
Too sexy for your lord!
Too sexy for The Word
So I don't read it

I'm too sexy for your pews
For the king of the Jews
He is just fiction!
and I'm Too sexy for your prayers
Fake smiles & crocodile tears
Too sexy for your youth groups!

I'm a heathen
Yes that's what I am
And I rest my sleepy head on Sunday morning

And I'm Too sexy for your guys
Too sexy for your lies
They're so outrageous!
And I'm Too sexy for your guilt
Religious jail you've built
What a time waster!
Too sexy for the cross
To have another boss
But my free spirit

I'm a heathen Yes that's what I am
And I rest my sleepy head on Sunday morning
On Sunday morning/
And I'm Too sexy for your hats
Fashion tips from your old bats
They are so sexist/
And I'm Too sexy for your preachers
Boring Sunday morning speakers
So full of bullshit
And I'm Too sexy for your songs!

Athena marina

Everytime I...

Everytime - By ME (with a nod to Butterfinger)

Everytime the surf is good I get a cold or flu
Everytime I surf the internet I don’t know what to do
Everytime I try to help someone I only make it worse
Everytime I sang a song in public I wish I’d have rehearsed
Everytime I go out, I spend too much money
Everytime I say a joke out loud it’s never seen as funny
When I buy something major it’s half cheaper the next week
Everytime I try to haggle I just get a yellow streak
Everytime I have a lunchbreak I get called away
Everytime I go to a new school the teachers think I’m gay
Everytime I try to argue someone else is quicker
Everytime I try to eat healthy I only get more sicker
Everytime I try to sleep… the bloody phone rings
Everytime I try to find something, I lose other things
Everytime I forget my mobile phone I miss an important call
Everytime I see porn I realise mine is small
Not that I do that of course… ‘cause that makes God sad
And I would never admit to doing something really really bad
Everytime I tape a late night show I miss the last five minutes
Every picture of me lately makes me look really fat in it
Everytime I forward a video and press play, it’s at an ad
Everytime I recommend a video they watch it and get mad
Everytime I drink alcohol I feel like crap
So why do I do it… cause I’m a naughty chap.

You might be a fundy if you ...

- You see nothing wrong with stating "facts" about what God thinks as if you are His personal secretary.

- Know what "OSAS Theology" is.

- Regulary find yourself discussing the finer points of the Pre-Trib Rapture.

- Make sweeping statements like: "there's more evidence that Jesus existed than there is that Julius Ceaser or Alexander the Great existed!" - Complain about christians not being allowed to practice their religion in foreign countries, yet when someone tries to set up a Hindu temple/Mosque/Pagan or new age bookshop in your town you go ballistic and think it shouldn't be allowed.

- Own a gardening business but refuse to do work on a gay couple's house.

- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.

- You believe the last days are imminent but that doesn't stop you buying more and more property

- Your typical "lay me down to sleep" prayer uses the phrase "Lord Jesus/Lord God" more times than the Bible.

- You swear god and Jesus love absolutely everybody, and yet you rail on in the next minute about how gays, liberals, pagans, and foreigners are going to be condemed to Hell without mercy.

- You believe without every word written in the Bible is infallible truth, you have no doubt we came from dirt and there are talking snakes, and you are more than happy to say Judas died in all of several ways listed in the Bible with a straight face.

- You think Brontosaurs lived peacefully with man during the time of Job.

- God regularly opens up convienent parking spaces, JUST FOR YOU.

- You think everyone but those who believe exactly what you believe are going to be burned in hell forever.

- Even if they believe what you believe, if they happen to be gay or more liberal than you, or different from you in some other way, they are still going to be tortured for all of eternity.- You think people who enjoy science fiction and fantasy because they actually have an imagination (unlike you who have suppressed your imagination), especially those who enjoy the Harry Potter novels, are going to be in hell.

- You think that anyone with a brain who actually uses it and realizes that evolution, not creation, was responsible for bringing life to earth is going to be tortured for all of eternity.- You think that being tortured for all of eternity for any reason is an appropriate punishment.

- You can't grasp basic scientific information and go on struggling to fit square pegs into round holes.