Hill$ong church parody - Praise the Lord
Praise him for my Rolls Royce and my yacht
Serving God ain't hard, with a credit card
Jesus died so I could make a lot...
Praise the Lord, he's made us millionaires
Wave your donations in the air
We've replaced our hymns with ATMs
And soon we'll charge a fee on every prayer...
Jesus Christ was a poor man, don'cha know
He should have used our accountants for his cash flow
Stuff the sermon on the mount, he should have had a bank account
2000 years with interest... He'd be rolling in the dough.....
Praise the Lord, this song is out on CD
Just $40.95 plus GST
Hallelujah, plenty of moulah
Solid gold baubles on my Christmas tree...
I've got all of heaven's riches!!!
Thanks to all you stupid bitches.
Praise the Lord for modern Christianity...
Whoever said religion should be free...
(The Chaser's War on Everything)
Christians Fundamentalists Creationists Bush - Bill Hicks (on Youtube)
Fundamentalist Christianity, fascinating. These people actually believe the world is twelve thousand years old. Well how fucking scientific. Didn't know you went to so much trouble.You believe the world is 12000 years old?Muh-uh.You think it would be mentioned in the fucking bible.The trail was blocked was a huge brontosaurus. What a big fucking lizard, Lord.But Jesus was unafraid. And removed the splinter from his paw. And Jesus sent him to Scotland. Americans brought their fat fucking dollars.
But get this. Dinosaur fossils. How does this fit into your view of life. Dinosaur fossils? God put those here to test our faith! Does that trouble anyone here?Some prankster god, running around.We will see who believes in me now. Ho ho ho. You die and saint peter, flying lizards? God was fucking with you!
It seemed so plausible!!....Ever notice how people who believe in Creationism seem really unevolved? I believe god created me in one day.Well... definitely looks like he rushed it....
Bill Maher is sacraligiously RELIGULOUS
"You start disputin' my god and you got a problem"
"Isn't that something? kotomateopia halasukodiomadada..."
"I'm gonna go up in the rapture, and I'm gonna come back on a white horse"
COMING SOON - Religulous
October 3rd, but until then we'll have to chuckle over the following preview:
"Does that make me crazy..."
The Chasers vs the Westboro freaks (youtube)
Westboro are getting a lot of press for a small group, but I think we're fascinated with what people are capable of when religion is uninhibited by what normal people hold back with common sense and common ethic.
The vile Westboro church creatures may be a tad fanatical and extreme and probably embarrassing to many mainstream christians, but there's something there in essence that lies just under the surface of all Christianity. I don't think Westboro is too far from what most of Christendom believe but are too polite in most cases to run out with pickets to do.
They disgust me to the core. Anyone who can act out so much hate while smiling all the way is chilling. And it's that same cold, fake smile that I see in most Christians after they leave one of their Sabbath day brainwashing services.
The Most Hated Family in America
Louis Theroux quotes:
"What we're trying to do in the documentary is look at an activity that is so antisocial, so strange, so futile and at its worst, so cruel, and we're saying "Why? Why do that?", especially when you seem to be, for the most part, kind and sensitive people. We're exploring what is cruelty, trying to explain how something that really does very often just amount to cruelty could be perpetuated and passed down in a family. Why would nice people do such horrible things?"
Jokes 4 Jeebus
Doug Stanhope has already beaten me to it and set up a comprehensive thumbnail list of the best and funniest Christian videos at his site. "Religion is all about silly, made-up stories, so let's point the finger at it and laugh."
Here's a classic stand-up comedy piece from his site that was also posted on Ex-Christian.net today. "Doug Stanhope - Would you Believe if...?"
- If you had never heard of the Bible and stumbled across it at a used book store... how quick would you recognise that as true? Would you say, "Yeah, yeah, the flood, the ark, this sounds incredibly true, this is exactly what I was looking for", you'd throw it in the trash would you not?
The Coolest 8 Year Old In The World Talks About O'Reilly
Apparently this video has been around for a while, but for me and maybe others who haven't seen it. It's funny and great. If you read the video description, you'll see that it's an actress - albeit an eight-year-old one - saying those words. So it's not as if she's been brainwashed or indoctrinated to say those things. Simply paid! But hang on... don't religions brainwash and indoctrinate their young? They get told stuff as though it's an absolute truth with no one putting any possible alternative views. And that seems to be OK with the religious. It's not with me, but what can I do about it? Good on you, B*stard Fairies. Let's get the debate going and bring religion and religious practices out into the open where they can be properly scrutinised.
OFFICIAL STATEMENT: THIS VIDEO FEATURES A TALENTED YOUNG ACTRESS PLAYING A FICTITIOUS CHARACTER. IT IS A COMMERCIAL FOR THE BAND 'THE BASTARD FAIRIES' AND DIRECTED BY AN AWARD WINNING DOCUMENTARY FILM MAKING TEAM.
10 things I hate about commandments
I know it's cheap to post links to Youtubes too often, but I have to... If I find something that makes me laugh then this is where I put it - I need to share - no matter how much they hate me at the churchy forums. Actually, I think they love me there but find me really annoying when I tell them that everything they believe in sucks and makes them look stupid, and possibly fat.
I'm not even sure why I am blogging. What is it that is attracting me to poke fun at Christianity? The following video is Christian friendly, by the way, and the second one (made by the same guys) has nothing at all to do with the bible. I'm even going to use swear words just now, on my blog, because the JAWS video is that 'fucking' funny. I swear to god I am not lying to you (that's not much of an oath considering).
Will I stop blogging? No, I doubt it, but if people don't start commenting soon or donating money (pmsl) I'll start to feel like I'm talking to myself and will stop out of fear of plummeting into complete lunacy. I'm completely sucked in to this for now and why? Because Christianity is funny. It's funny and it needs people to laugh at it. It's so ludicrously funny that I don't find much else funnier. The Life of Brian was funny and brilliantly funny at that. I don't think Christians are all that funny. There aren't any good Christian stand-up comedians. All the pastors I've ever heard in my life that were remotely funny were only so because they were making in-jokes about particular members of the congregation that drank too much coffee or drove a Citroen, or missed the last damn prayer-and-fast.
10 things I hate about commandments
Must Love Jaws
Hot Chicks - Tracts with my commentary
I've just been looking through the Jack tracts on his website and having a great time. It's a unique style all of his own. What really tickled me is many of the comic books are completely redrawn to appeal to black audiences. Obviously black people won't relate to people being thrown into hell fire unless they see black people depicted so. Even the angels are black in the black version. Jack Chick thought of everything. Yep, hell is for all races! yay! The devil looks cooler in the 'black people' version. What do you think?
And those one's weren't the parodies. I'm not joking.
The following tract takes place after a no good non-Christian guy name Bobby dies after admitting he had nothing to live for. This death is a great opportunity for Ol' Freddy Fanatic to preach to a young freckled face kid who is hanging around with an older smarmy arrogant non-Christian jerk.
Actually, the man in black is making a lot of sense, but he's about to syphon nicotine through his lungs and potentially harm his body, so we know he's a bad guy, hey kids? Plus, he's wearing black - a dead give-away. Oh, and he's blowing smoke into the Christian's face. Bastard. Doesn't he know passive smoking is supposed to be bad. 
Apparently the approximate year 4370 is going to be a big year for remembering the first time you read a Chick tract comic book.
Luckily Christians revel in being persecuted, but still a cheap shot. Nasty atheist Bruce Wayne.
Warning: never discuss theology and drive or you're a "Bloody Idiot"
Chick is a bible expert. He knows there's no such place as purgatory. He's not falling for any of that purgatory crap. What nonsense.. purgatory... pffft. The giant white throne? Now that's for real!
Oh CRAP! Where the hell was the Scooby gang? Where was Fred and Daphne and the hippy guy when this villain was wearing masks in some amazing skkullduggery that even foiled those pesky darned kids. It was Lucifer all along. What a twist! I didn't see that one coming, and he's an ugly bugger too. I wonder why the devil has horns. Does he use them to defend himself?
Always remember, Jesus loves you more than you can possibly comprehend. But, if for any reason whatsoever you don't come to accept the correct version of Christianity while still breathing air, then that loving god-man is going to make you suffer the most horrific and demented fate ever conceived. There will be no chance of parole or escape. You will not even be allowed to die. You will be tormented and tortured forever.
The Goon Bible project - reading the bible so you don't have to
This is funny... I swear to God it is! Even Christians will laugh.
Alan won't.