Marc Maron visits the Creation Museum

Recently, I've been a podcast listener, and am enjoying such comedians as Greg Fitzerald and this guy... Marc Maron, who recently took a crew and a microphone into the Creation Museum. He was fairly respectful, and had some funny things to say as he went through.

Expelled - April's Fools

April's Fools and the Noah's Ark Hoax

Perhaps the greatest danger posed by the creationists results from their almost universal lack of a sense of humor and their incredible credulity. They never laugh when they read each other's books, and they easily can be made to believe almost anything. A society where everyone is gullible will not survive for long, and a world without humor is indistinguishable from hell. I fear that creationist dominance of the schools is leading to a generation of Americans who have no training in critical thinking and will believe anything -- a generation which has never been allowed to laugh at preposterosity.

Read the full story about the HOAX expedition for Noah's Ark HERE

Creation Science 101 (musical parody)

Thanks Roy Zimmerman for posting at Ex-Christian.net

"Creation Science 101" is on my album "Faulty Intelligence" available on my website and on iTunes. -- Roy Zimmerman

Why whales have holes in their heads and women have tight vaginas

Kondole the Whale and the hole in his head

Kondole was a mean and rude man. One night, the performers during a ceremony needed someone to keep a fire going; Kondole was the only one with fire, and he hid in the bush. The men argued with him, and one got frustrated and threw a spear into Kondole's skull. All the men then turned into animals, including kangaroos, possums, fish and birds. Kondole became a whale and the hole in his head from the spear became his blowhole.


Thought to be the oldest continuously maintained cultural history on Earth (50,000 years or more), the Australian aboriginal Dreamtime explains the origins and culture of the land and of its people, but - call me crazy - but I don't believe it. I don't... I mean, it kinda makes sense but I really truly doubt it.

Eve and the too tight vagina

Recent Jewish mythology has an interesting story to explain why having a baby hurts so much. A women once lived naked with a man in a magical garden where life was carefree and naked. It was a busy life. It was the man's job to name every animal that existed. He started with Aardvark and kept making up thousands of funny names while she collected fruit for them to eat. One day an unnamed walking snake misconstrued the wishes of the god of the garden and tricked her into eating a naughty fruit.

The snake lost his legs and was forced to eat dust and the women was given extra nerve endings in her vagina and it was tightened it up so it would hurt like hell should a baby ever pass through it. Ironically, this made the act of copulation more enjoyable.
Meanwhile the bloke was cursed to tend to fields and work for a living... oh yeah, women had to work and slave at home for the man and listen to him complain about how much work he has to do.

The legless snakes lived happily ever after.

The Whole Silly Flood Story (Down Under)

The Land Down Under

Ed Vinson asks just how far it is from Mt. Ararat to Sydney, and which of Noah's sons got stuck with herding all those numbats, wombats, platypi, and wallabies down there without mixing any rats in. G'day, Mate!

Koalas

They live only in Australia. Their diet is so restricted--to a few subspecies of eucalyptus--that they're threatened now by destruction of the only kinds of trees they will eat. It's also hard to imagine them migrating. Over many generations they might slowly spread through an area--but travelers, they ain't.And when they did migrate over 9,000 miles, in a tiny herd from Ararat to New South Wales, eating a convenient trail of long-disappeared eucalyptus (which took how many years after the Flood to grow?), they left no trail of koala fossils behind.

Click the banner to read the whole piece...

I spent a good part of my life in ignorant bliss

After nearly two decades immersed in Christendom I must concede to the idea that this life is simply a series of random events... but mathematically speaking there is sometimes pattern evident in chaos. These patterns can be sometimes interpreted as coincidences and luck. The more romantically natured people will fictionise such clusters of coincidence as divine intervention from a god who is pulling at the strings. Their God is a loathsome creature who 'allows' the most grotesque things to happen to its 'beloved children'. Any purely good god would have intervened and thought up a better way to make a set of toys to play with... without having to try melting them with a magnifying glass.

I spent a good part of my life in ignorant bliss. That's fine... at the time it felt fine. In the light of new information and a new mindset, I can see that it was a waste of time. I'll still live and die and will currently do things that will still seem to have been a waste of time in years to come.

I lost years and de-evolved somewhat, but worse things could have happened. People lose arms, and they lose children. People can be swindled out of their life savings, they can develop painful diseases that cripple and torment. We can find love only to lose it and suffer from the memory of it... people have a 'bunch of stuff happen' happen to them, because (pause) - because it's random and they sometimes don't take personal control and responsibility for their actions.

Earthquake, war, plague - shit truly happens and always, always has. Satan doesn’t exist. It seems he does because those things we consider to be evil - chaos, destruction, bad days - are the restive ways of the Earth. As a species, we have worked miracles to keep the violent world at our gate. Sometimes those miracles are baffled, because the universe is like that. "Against exploding stars, earthquakes and the tempers of men, we can only do so much to defend ourselves" (Jack Marx).

We have evolved to a level of self existence where we're intelligent enough to question own state of being. We got so smart that we began to label the random coincidences as part of a plan by a god that simply doesn't exist, or is doing a good job hiding out behind a Clark Kent type alias.

Has the universe always been here in some form, or did something create it at some point?

This is the Andromeda Galaxy - it looks a lot like our own I'm told - not that I've ever stepped back far enough to check out the similarities - but there are many many more like it to show that our galaxy is just one collection of spinning matter in what is an immeasurable expanse of space and 'stuff'. The interesting thing about our Milky Way galaxy (named after the famous chocolate bar) is that it's not actually big... it seems big because we're so small, it's relative, it is not huge, it is not immense and it may or may not be infinite. The incredible amount of galaxies that make up what we can see of our universe may in fact be just one cloud amongst many universes .

These steller bodies are moving, colliding and collapsing all over the shop and there's evidence to suggest that the universe has been doing so for billions and billions of years, and perhaps forever. There's no need to mystify the idea of time, because before we were intelligent enough to acknowledge and measure the movement of heavenly bodies we were happy to hunt by day, sleep by night, and die when we got too old to pump blood through our brains. Eternity isn't a supernatural concept best left for gods to calculate... like the size of the universe, it's relative albeit conceptual. The universe simply was and is and always will be - no matter how many pigs fart methane into the atmosphere of our little blue green orb.

Douglas Adams joked that the universe is so big and so randomly chaotic that chances are somewhere somehow there are lifeforms growing that could be useful to any interstellar hitchhiker. One planet somewhere surely has shifting spanners growing from trees, and animals that could easily be used as mattresses. I think it's amazing that this planet was lucky to have a temporary run of life on it long enough for its inhabitants to actually design and use a shifting spanner themself. When you consider the incredible numbers of planets spiraling and circling throughout this vast cosmos you must entertain the thought that for some bursts of time a planet would be in the rolling in the right place at the right time with the right conditions to allow moss to gather on it.

Now, if I were lucky enough to have been born into a planet that had the 'golden' measurements of being close enough to a sun, and protected by various larger planets around it, I'd feel very fortunate, and I do. This particular planet probably isn't the first to have encountered such idyllic conditions but you have to stand in awe of the probability factors involved when you happen to be on it. Of course, it seems like someone created it only because you aren't one of the impossible inhabitants that couldn't have possibly lived on the multi-billion other planets that can't sustain life.

You're bloody lucky to be alive and I seriously don't blame anyone for inventing a god to praise to concerning the delights of simple existence. Every culture we know of usually does this very thing. It's perfectly natural and normal to sing to the sky in appreciation, because most of the people we share the planet with don't seem to really appreciate existence enough to really marvel at it with the wide-eyed wonder it deserves.

Many people I've spoken to recently say that there must be a god, because the scenery here is bloody tremendous and a lot of female boobs look really really good. But this planet actually looks like crap compared to watching the Wallom beasts swimming through the molten mountains of Somtranus V in the Andromeda galaxy (pause). We have no basis of comparison and of course every type of vegetation filled crevasse looks quite interesting to us. The rock and continents have been shifting and eroding for billions of years to make many varied and interesting formations. It's a weather beaten planet that has evolved wildlife and vegetation over an unbelievable amount of time. It's when we try to fit it into the mythical six days and six thousand years of bible time that everything looks like it's science fiction.

And boobs look wondrous because if our programming didn't allow them to be then we would have died off ages ago. Of course boobs don't look appealing to all mankind, but that's ok... there's enough of us who do to keep the population rolling along until we collide with another planet and simply cease to be. Somewhere, sometime, another species will come into being that appreciates the landscape around them and may even have mammary glands that the other gender finds appealing.

Robin Ince on Creationism

Robin Ince on Creationism

God Hates Globes - The Earth is Flat (don'cha know?)

I thought it was urban myth, but there is actually a significant amount of people who believe the world is flat and can 'prove' it with the Bible. The Creation Museum provoked me to see what else various Christians believe about our planet. I bet even Ken Ham thinks these flat-Earth guys are nuts, but then I also bet he's given the flat Earth theory a lot of thought. Don't even get me started on the Hollow Earth theory.

Flat Earther Quote: "The World governments that have lost many ships and submarines to the edge of the world, got together and formed the Ice Wall out of water they sprayed to form the wall.I have documents that I stole from one of those "lost ships". Check out the FAQ's I found on their website. The words in green are my own commentary. Try not to let them talk you into believing their stuff eh? These Flat Earth society guys are actually serious...

1. Do you guys honestly think that the Earth is flat?
We don't think the Earth is flat, we know it is based on overwhelming biblical evidence. (I'm sure there is, but see, this is how weird you can get when you use the Bible as a book of facts)

And a highly regarded Christian monk named Cosmas based his conclusions on the teachings of the Bible. The reason for Cosmas' belief in a flat Earth was the statement in Revelation 1:7 that, when Christ returns, "Every eye shall see him." Cosmas logically concluded that if the Earth were round instead of flat, people on the other side would not be able to see Christ's second coming. (Can't argue with Cosmas with that logic... mainly 'cause he's dead now)

2. But Jesus himself never said that the Earth was flat, did he?
God did, and orthodox Christians believe that Jesus is God. Thus Jesus did in fact say that the Earth is flat. (Ahh touche)

3. Do you have any scientific evidence to back up your claim that the Earth is flat?
Although our group associates the term "science" with the black arts and the occult, we have used it to disprove itself. Here's a "scientific" test that anyone can do right now. Go outside and simply look at the landscape. Does it seem flat or round to you? (They have an answer for everything!! They've thought this through eh?)

4. What about when you watch a ship set out to sea? You can literally see it dip under the horizon. How would that work if the Earth was flat?
Have you ever heard of waves? (Don't buy used cars from flat earthers)

5. Why do you refer to Columbus, Copernicus, and Galileo, as "the devil's messiahs," or "Satan's sons?"
Because they are the most noted perpetuators of the global theory myth, and are burning in eternal hellfire for their lies. These men brazenly declared that the laws of nature conflict with the teachings of the Bible. (These were Satan's sons? Who was mum, I wonder... bet she was hot!)

6. What's your beef with N.A.S.A.?
Aside from the obvious difference in opinion about the Earth's shape; our beef with N.A.S.A. is that they are a Satanic coven masquerading as a government institution. They use our tax dollars to forge photographs of a spherical Earth, and fake moon landings. They build giant missiles which they call "shuttles," and aim them at God. It's also common knowledge that N.A.S.A. is an acronym for "Not A Spiritual Association." (Common knowledge??? amongst Flat Earthers perhaps - Yeah, everyone knows that acronym)

7. Do you think it's at all possible that the phrases in the Bible that refer to "The four corners of the Earth," were figures of speech or errors in the translation?
God is not mistranslated, and when you see him descend on a golden chariot in the sky from all points of this flat Earth you will know this to be true. (This golden chariot seems a bit showy, don't you think? Pimp my chariot bitch!)

8. What about all those pilots who fly around the world every day? Surely they would know weather or not the world was round or flat.
Oh and they do... That's why it's one of our group's many responsibilities to help break the oath of silence imposed on the world's aviators by the Globeite Zeitgeist. (Ohh, those fly boys and their secrets!)

10. Do you believe that the current Presidential administration is doing a good job enforcing spiritual values?
Yes and no. he's been rather lax when it comes to the Bible truth of a flat Earth. (for shame President Bush... another strike against your name! - Stem Cell research and now a laxness on flat Earth)

11. What division of Christianity does your group represent?
We consider ourselves to be the only true Orthodox Christians, all other divisions are wrong. (These guys have little tolerance for the Sphere-Earth Christians)

12. What can I do to help your movement?
You can download the images and slogans we use on our protest signs and stage your own demonstrations alongside other Christian fundamentalist groups. (Umm, I wonder what sort of help is meant by from the 'Frequently Asked Questioners' - Help is definitely needed). Every time a group of Creation scientists hold a picket we'll be there preaching the flatness of God's creation.

Flat Earth Slogans you can use to HELP the movement:

* God Hates Globes
* Ban round Earth theory
* Our map doesn't spin
* Think inside the box
* Flat is Phat, Yo!
* Burst the global theory bubble
* The Earth is flat, accept it* Flat planet: it's the flat out truth
* Don't fall off the edge of reason Accept a flat Earth
* God's word is not irrational a round Earth is
* The Earth was created in 7 days and It's flat
* Trust your myopic vision, the world is flat

You really need to worry about people who believe 'Pirates 3 - At World's End' and 'The Flintstones' are non-fictional documentaries. EE-YUP... there's all kinda crazy out there on this big green blue planet of ours. "What a wonderful (Mad) World"... ohhhh yeahhh ....

The Wiki History of the Universe in 200 Words

The use of the amazing 'Snap Shots' preview tool on the blog makes this a very interesting read... just hover your mouse pointer over the words for more info...

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The Wiki History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less

Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation?

Copyright 1996-1997 by Eric Schulman.This piece was the inspiration for the book A Briefer History of Time and led to the Annals of Improbable Research Universal History Translation Project. Reprinted from the AIR, Volume III, Number 1, January/February 1997, page 27.

Stand up comedians get paid to make fun of Christianity... cool hey? and speaking of dinosaurs

Dinosaurs and the bible... sigh. For years they've been happily teaching Noah's Ark to Sunday school kids and using plastic giraffes and elephants to illustrate how they were organised into the big cubit canoe - two by two - and everyone was happy. The curriculum was set and many grew up and hopefully outgrew it. Then some smart-ass Christian probably tapped the head guy on the shoulder and said, "umm, what about dinosaurs? Umm, we're gonna have to fit in the dinosaurs into the story... somewhere between Adam and Noah". The reply to this conundrum has produced dozens of whacked out theories and ideas to fit them in to the dreamtime fables.

Some of the various ideas I've enjoyed:

• Ken Ham vigorously preaches that the book of Job describes a dinosaur when he quotes an obscure scripture that says, “His tail is like a cedar.” when the verse actually says "He moveth his tail like a cedar".
• The dinosaurs were all originally vegetarians- Those huge sharp teeth evident in T-Rexes and Raptors were for ripping tomatoes apart.
• Lizards don't stop growing and in the times of Adam the lizards lived for a thousand years, hence their great size.
• Dinosaur fossils don't actually exist. They are part of a huge conspiracy to throw us off the truth of god.
• The devil made the dinosaur fossils.
• Even the gap theorists who try to fit dinosaurs into an old earth scenario don't have any scientific evidence to back their claims.

It's a hot topic at the moment and I've found some more fun stuff to bring back here to the nest. I found the following Lewis Black stand-up routine on Youtube at Kristi's blog, Pink Prozac and a similar routine by Bill Hicks. I transcripted Lewis' routine below, but couldn't be bothered giving Bill's the same treatment. You'll have to watch his - it's short and he has more body language to flesh it out.

Bill Hicks: It Seemed So Plausible



Lewis Black - Fossils: The Devil's Handiwork

Was the earth created in seven days? No. for those of you who believe it was, for you Christians, let me tell you, you don’t understand the Jewish people. We Jews understand that it did not take in seven days because we know what we are good at. And what we’re really good at bullshit. This was a wonderful story that was told to the people in the desert to distract them from the fact that they did not have air-conditioning.

I would love to have the faith to believe it took place in seven days… but… I have thoughts, and that can really fuck up the faith thing, just ask any Catholic priest.

And then there are fossils, whenever anyone tries to tell me it took place in seven days I reach for a fossil and go, “fossil” and if they keep talking I throw it just over their head. There are people who believe that dinosaurs and men lived together; that they roamed the earth at the same time. There are museums that children go to in which have dioramas to show them this… and what this is, purely and simply, is clinical psychotic reaction - they are crazy - they are stone cold fuck nuts. I can’t be kind about this because these people are watching the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.

I met gentleman in Georgia who had his set of belief and I had mine, and this makes it tough, because evolution is a major thread in the larger tapestry that I call REALITY. He said, “Lewis, Fossils are the handiwork of the devil,” (long pause)... I had to remind myself to breathe. I’d been tasered by the concept of the devil. Apparently the devil is like Wile E. Coyote only he is more evil and he has a ACME factory where he makes fossils, and he sends his minions to scatter them across the earth every day, in order to confuse my tiny Jewish brain.

No Answers In Genesis

"Creationism is not the alternative to Evolution - ignorance is"

This is an old topic, but it serves to highlight the gross stupidity from the morons at AiG (Answers in Genesis). Along with such incredible facts, as... sabre-tooth tigers were originally herbivores, and dinosaurs were rescued via the Love Boat (during the fourth dynasty of the Egyptian era) only to die out soon after, they keep reeling out their superior knowledge - In all their wisdom they worked out why disasters such as Tsunamis and happened: it's our fault:

"At Answers in Genesis, we have written many articles and given many talks explaining that it's not God's fault when a massive tragedy occurs, but rather, it is our fault - the Bible says we sinned in Adam (Genesis 3)."

It always amazes me how much they need to take the blame off of their god. And as has been pointed many times, this doesn't take the blame from god because supposedly he's responsible for creating us and knew exactly what we were going to do.

However this is the first time I've heard it quite put this way: "we sinned in Adam". What the hell this means is beyond me. If "we sinned in Adam" then why doesn't Adam get his house ruined by a hurricane? So if I have this right, god doesn't kill a kitten if I masturbate. Instead I sin through Adam (I wonder if Adam has an orgasm?) and because of my sin through Adam god has people die in hurricanes. - Voltaire

If God is innocent, why defend him so strenuously? If God is all powerful and innocent, why can't he defend himself? I mean, in OT times he drowned the entire Egyptian army to save the whiney tribe of Israel, for Christ's sake; now days he can't whip up a defense against skeptics, he has to hide behind Ken Ham, of all people! Boy, that pile of wisdom is sure steamy, and stinks like a cess pool, too.

Ken Ham... I tell ya... I'm sure he's got good intentions and believes what he says, but holy cow, for someone who doesn't believe we came from cavemen and monkeys, he's sure doing his best to strip us of the accumulated knowledge we've developed and send us back scurrying into the caves.

He tries to give examples in the bible where it mentions dinosaurs, he finds ones about sea monsters, and flying monsters and ties those to pterodactyls. He explains that in all ancient cultures, they had legends about ‘dinosaur-like’ animals which the called “dragons”. From Gilgamesh to a book published in the 1500s, there is evidence that dinosaurs were actually dragons, now gone due to hunting by humans. - Stupid Evil Bastard

Zombies, Unicorns, Devils, Sea Monsters, Satyrs, Dragons, Six Winged Angels, Gods, Demons, Witches, Astrologers, A walking & talking snake, Magical fruit, Talking donkeys, human headed six-winged beasts, Ghosts. All that stuff is in the Bible and yet they tell me it"s not mythology?

Jurassic Ark - The Lost World of Freaking Reason and Logic... sheesh

The $27 million Answers in Genesis Creation Museum is scheduled to open on May 28 in Petersburg, KY, amidst protests by the reality-based community. This museum is not only a colossal embarrassment to those of us who value reason, science, and reality itself, but it undermines science education at a time when the United States cannot afford to fall behind in science and technology. - VJACK

It's just so... cringey. It makes me cringe. 27 million dollars? By Zeus, that's an obscene amount of money to promote mythology! Our aboriginal Australians have their stories about the 'Dreamtime' when giant serpents carved out the landscape etc. but if they started spending a large fortune making museums and selling it as fact... well, we'd all roll our eyes in amusement at that. That millions of people believe dinosaurs were led onto a large wooden boat with kangaroos and crocodiles and koalas - that's just sad.

Dinosaurs on the freaking Ark - Jurassic Ark - what a joke. Stegosauruses, Brontosauruses, Veloceraptors, Pterodactyls, Pteradons, Sabretooths, dodos, platypuses, diplodicusses, triceroptosses, the spinosaurus from Jurassic Park 3, those big lizards from the islands that start with a G.

But just like in ancient times when we used to pray to Thor to help us out in times of drought, the need to petition gods for help continues. Christians will live happily in their creationist ignorance and pass on the precious fables to their wide-eyed young 'uns, and they in turn will sleep easy in the knowledge that someone is looking out for them. Sleeping easy was something Noah had a hard fucking time doing... he had fucking Veloceraptors on his boat! Have you seen those bastards! Big fucking claw talons that rip the shit out of things. He didn't have only Dinotopia on his floatboat, he had T-freaking-rexes!

Time to balance out the stupidity (any help at all for our de-evolving population) with this following Youtube. The guy is not precocious or aggressive or condescending. It's just a good and reasonable sober response to creationism, and is a pleasure to watch. You won't disagree... unless you're Smirk Cameron, that is. 'Growing Pains' - sheesh - grow up dude... sha la la la...

By The Book Comics

By The Book Comics: A hopefully humorous look at the Bible

I am considering changing the title of my blog from "Ain't Christian" to "Kirk Cameron is a Shmuck"...

Kirk Cameron is a complete Shmuck: Nighline Debate - Christians and Atheists argue the Existence of God

Has anyone seen this debate that aired on Nightline the other night? I just watched it from the website. Kirk Cameron (the Christian rapture poster boy) and his sugar daddy, Ray Comfort, took to challenging the 'Blasphemy Challengers' Rational Response Squad with the claim that they could irrefutably prove God's existence... and do it with scientific evidence. Here's a rough video taken from the audience. It fares better than the biased edit that the major public saw.

On a positive note, the unedited version from the Nightline website has been viewed by over 200 000 viewers in the last few days.

Let's hear their best evidence as to why God doesn't exist, and let the audience decide whose evidence is based on faith and whose is based on fact. We cannot only prove that God exists, but we can prove that the atheist doesn't." Says Ray Comfort.

In short... they didn't.

Kirk tried to prove God's existence by telling his personal 'salvation' story. It proved squat.

Ray tried to prove god scientifically by showing a Coke can and asking if the coca-cola liquid could have made the can over millions of years... wtf? He also used the 10 commandments as further proof with his tired and flawed argument that if you've ever lusted after a girl or told a lie then you are guilty and are going to Hell. The rules of the debate stipulated that the bible wouldn't be used to validify god... Ray just wanted to make sure he preached his 'terrorism'... the man is a complete wank.

Kirk and Ray's argument fell even more apart when they said it was obvious that a creation needs a creator (first of all you need to believe life IS a creation). When the atheists asked them 'Who created god?', they just sat there without a reply for an uncomfortable while and then babbled that god exists outside of 'time'. Their argument was void of any scientific data. They believed that god has to be eternal but didn't deny the idea that the RSS offered that the universe could equally be considered eternal...

Ray comfort is infamous for his banana story but it is so supremely stupid it's actually painful to watch. If a banana is a perfect example of God's handiwork because of it's convenience to humans, then what the hell is a pineapple? Ever try to harvest and eat one? Ouch!

Flood, Fire, what's next? World wide pillow suffocation?

Truth is truly stranger than fiction but the truth can also be much less exciting. I'm thinking the Egyptians would have thought it really terrific to build those mammoth structures in honour of their gods and of the afterlife. I'm also thinking the Olympians and the Aztecs also had much more exciting lives in their quests to make the invisible sky daddies happy.

Life was a lot more exciting and dramatic when I imagined invisible angels and demons swarming around us, locked into a rigorous battles for our eternal souls. Jesus fought a terrible battle and paid a terrible 'price' for us by being tortured and killed, and amazingly had enough magic to get up again... although it did take a few days, and he still had all the gross wounds on him.

It was a brilliant plan to save us from all the evil he said he created for us in the first place; and from the set-up he put for us in the garden. Wiping out everyone (bar eight) in the flood didn't work, we only bred more sinners. He should have seen that coming. Have a son instead, and get him killed. Brilliant. That'll balance it all out... oh, but still wipe everyone out later on and this time eternally torture the ones who don't fall into line. That'll fix 'em. This time with fire, 'cause the flood thing... well, that's been done already.

God needs to make better plans. Flood... fire... I'm thinking the next time he gets all genocidal it'll be by burying us all alive. Oh wait, he did that with Moses' rejects. He needs to be original; I appreciate that. Maybe some world wide bizarre gardening accident or pillow suffocation.

The truth can be stranger than fiction but I find the truth is much more liberating. It's decipering which is which that we seem to find hard to do. Psychologist Bruce Hood observed that babies fill in the gaps and invent rules to help make sense of the world around them. Irrational and 'magical' beliefs are hard-wired into us and many of us never grow out of them. The following websites are a big help... the video is pretty sobering too. The truth will set you free: check out God is Imaginary and Why Won't God Heal Amputees.

They call it outer space because there's mostly nothing there.

I find the thought of an infinity of matter and space as believable as infinity of space and nothing. Time and space is relative and even the incredible distance imagined between the ends of the known universe would make it a pin prick in the endless vacuum of space around that... or between universes. Heck...

Douglas Adams: "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

Creationism - more ho hum stuff from the storybook makers

Frank R. Zindler - Perhaps the greatest danger posed by the creationists results from their almost universal lack of a sense of humor and their incredible credulity. They never laugh when they read each other's books, and they easily can be made to believe almost anything. A society where everyone is gullible will not survive for long, and a world without humor is indistinguishable from hell.

Since Morris Henry Morris, (president of the Institute for Creation Research) teaches that the universe is only a few thousand years old, there is the embarrassing fact that many stars are millions or indeed billions of light-years distant. If the stars themselves are only a few thousand years old, their light should not yet have reached us, and so most of the stars of the universe would be invisible if creationism were true. But Morris can explain:

This problem seems formidable at first, but is easily resolved when the implications of God's creative acts are understood. The very purpose of creation centered in man. Even the angels themselves were created to be "ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation." (Hebrews 1:14). Man was not some kind of afterthought on God's part at all, but was absolutely central in all of His plans.

Some of us have accepted Copernicus' ideas that the earth is the center of the universe but struggle with the idea that we ourselves are not - Moth.

It is even possible that the "light" bathing the earth on the first three days [before the sun was created] was created in space as en route from the innumerable "light bearers" which were yet to be constituted on the fourth day.

In other words, the light we see coming from a star a hundred million light years away has not been traveling for a hundred million years. God created the light close to the Earth; the light never came from a star at all It just looks that way! God, it would seem, has created a world of deceitful, appearances.

Just how Dr. Morris was able to measure the concentration of angels in the vicinity of the planet Earth is not revealed.

Like Billy Graham, Morris seems to think that UFOs are actually angels -- evil angels. "There are a number of Biblical references indicating that in some way the stars may actually participate in human battles".

Read the whole article here...

You might be a Christian if...

You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, animals and trees!

You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (a few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is just a few generations old.

You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

While modern science, history, geology, biology, physics and textual scholarship fail to convince you that the Bible may be less than reliable, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" is all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply God saying "No."

You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Evilbible.com

Family Guy Evolution

It was a touchy subject for me, and others I'm sure, simply because of the idea that life is meaningless without god. It sounds to me like it's a psychological issue and nothing to do with reality. Suck it up and deal with the hand the universe dealt you I say. It doesn't care or revolve around us or our tiny planet. Ive seen enough theist arguments far too many times and they base their beliefs around some bronze age text written by camel dung smokin' nomads. Einstein certainly was not theist and certainly did not get any of his ideas from priests or the bible.

Evolution successfully describes the diversity of life, and has survived 150 years of the smartest men on the planet trying to debunk it and is one of the most tested theories on the planet. In return, all most Christians can do is say 'I don't believe it'. An empty argument, not backed up by any evidence, and usually founded on prejudice.

I think Creationists have lost the plot because of their perspective about the Earth's age. Time is an irrelevance and is actually a human construct. We count time by the amount of times we notice ourselves move around the sun, therefore when we start saying things are millions of years old they start to sound like unbelievably large numbers beyond our comprehension. Just imagine how long it took for dinosaurs to evolve then die out before another age of life took its place. You think it takes a while to microwave pizza!

To say life doesn't evolve is like saying cows are not mammals.

Penn and Teller believe the Bibles is Bull waste product (Bullshit)

Bullshit! (also known as Penn & Teller: Bullshit!) is an American television show hosted by the magicians/comedians, Penn & Teller. They aim to debunk a host of popular fads, pseudoscientific ideas, and misconceptions. They criticize often citing ulterior or financial motives.

The stated aim of the show is to apply critical thinking to misconceptions, and like the title, they are characteristically blunt and aggressive in their presentation, which I find fun to watch. Sure they sensationalise and spin to sell their show... sure, they've sometimes got egg on their faces later on, but these guys confront and challenge the snapfrozen mindsets with some hot topics.

I found the following videos on Youtube etc. but they keep disappearing and moving around as the copyriters see them. Do some searches for the guys and you'll find their stuff.

Noah's Ark

Creationism ----- The Bible: Is it fact or fiction?

Near Death Experiences