Sinful Batmobile Lust

I was observing a discussion in our forum today about fornication and I got stuck on the following quote from a christian fellow:

"It does not matter even if it was not a sexual act that was the result of lust, for example lusting after a sportscar, it is still the outcome of lust, then it is sin."

Lusting after cars is a sin now? Aww man, they've got a sin for everything! Luckily my old Camry isn't enticing any poor sods into damnation... Where's the line between longing, deep admiration and evil car lust? Lusting after the car in your heart is the same as actually having sex with the car.

Forgive me father for I have looked lustfully on the Batmobile. It seems I was guilty of 'lust' way before puberty 'cause I always longed for a big black bat car. I thought this forum comment was a good excuse to compile a series of Batmobile pictures to lust after. I'm told they're pretty phallic... if you're into black phallic things.

What were they thinking!?

What Would Jesus Do? (Sexy, funny and offensive - the perfect Youtube)

Youtube blurb: A music video to watch while you skip church this Sunday. Written and performed by Julie Wittner (co-creator of "2 Hot Girls in the Shower") and Ryan Smith (a staff writer for "Mad TV"), and directed by Kim Evey (creator of "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show"). This song started out as a live sketch at the ACME Comedy Theatre in L.A. If you like sharp, Daily Show type political satire, you'll enjoy this country-western music parody!

10 Best reasons Gay Marriage is wrong:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Hannah Montana is doing it for Jesus

Everything this 15 year old chick does, she does for Jesus, so says she a couple of months ago. And the "I've just been fucked" look is front page fodder for Vanity Fair? Of course, she's just a kid with little capacity for thought, and the blame rests in her idiot father who seems interested in selling her out to the white trash celebrity crowd rather than having her give her achey breaky heart to Jesus.

I think it's pretty bloody stupid of her and embarrassing to Disney Christians for her to make the following statements and then go topless (implied) for a glossy mag. Do we need more Lohans?

"Yes! We love Jesus!" says Cyrus, 15, as she nods her head in agreement. "Happy Easter, by the way. He died for our sins. That's how awesome he is.

"Jesus rocks! That's why we do what we do," the Hannah Montana star adds. "She (Mandy) dances for Jesus. I sing, dance and act for Jesus! ... Now that I think about it, I do everything for Jesus. We make the YouTube videos for Jesus. We’re all about it." Christian Today

Lying over adultery is legal in Italy

Italy's highest appeal court has ruled that married Italian women who commit adultery are entitled to lie about it to protect their honour.

The court gave its landmark ruling after hearing the case of a 48-year-old woman, convicted of giving false testimony to police by denying she had lent her mobile phone to her lover.
The appeal court did not agree that she had broken the law.

It said bending the truth was justified to conceal extra-marital relationships. In a predominantly Catholic country you might expect the courts to take a dim view of lying and adultery.
But not in this case.

The woman who brought the appeal was from Porto Ercole on the Tuscany coast, and named only as Carla. She had lent her telephone to her secret lover, Giovanni, who then used it to call Carla's estranged husband, Vincenzo, and insult him.

Giovanni, the lover, was convicted of abusive behaviour in a local court, and Carla convicted as an accessory.

Controversial judgements

But the Court of Cassation found that having a lover was a circumstance that damaged the honour of the person among family and friends. Lying about it, therefore, was permitted, even in a judicial investigation.

It is not yet clear whether the ruling might also apply to men who have secret mistresses.
The Court of Cassation, which is largely staffed by elderly male appeal judges, has in the past issued a number of controversial judgements.

It once gave a ruling, later rescinded after protests from women's groups, that a woman could not be raped by definition if she was wearing tight jeans, since the jeans could only be removed with her consent.

Saving My Hymen for Jesus

Found this over at Bligby and had to blog it.

Jo and Snakey... you're gonna love this!

"Keepin' the boys from away down there for the big boy up above"

Satire - Two girls dish about the benefits of saving it for the lord! Written by Katie Goodman & Soren Kisel. Staring Katie Goodman & Sallie Sills.

The very hot PASTOR MELISSA SCOTT

While surfing American evangelist websites (as I do) I came across a pastor that was kind of 'different' - Pastor Melissa Scott. I didn't take in much of what she said, but I did take notice and thought I'd find out a bit more about her. She was previously an adult industry model... oh my god. Pictures of 'Barbie Bridges', her alter ego, are difficult to find and she has enough power and money to get all the Youtube clips pulled down. Evangelists seem to have a lot of power over the Youtube, but she and her cronies didn't hide everything.

She's educated and classy and if I was still Christian I'd be a devotee. She seems to have a good head for Hebrew and a better head for business. I'm not judging her for her past but from what I've been reading, she's more of a whore for money now than she was before. She sold her body to finance herself in the past and now she's selling the 'prosperity' doctrine to finance her church. This is after marrying the old and now deceased wrinkly rich Dr. Gene Scott. He was 70 and she was 32. Working the system well I would think.

Melissa Pauline Peroff

Melissa performed as Barbie Bridges in adult photos and videos produced by Vivid Productions. Melissa became coupled with Dr. Gene Scott in 1995 during his pony girl phase of paying models to attend his church in the front row, while requiring the rest of the audience to stand and give the ladies an ovation when they entered.

In 1996, Melissa divorced Paul Pastore and Gene Scott divorced his second wife Christine.
Some doubt the credibility of Dr. Scott's claims that Melissa spoke 15 languages and has an IQ of 186, particularly when Dr. Scott's doctors had to tell her to stop feeding Dr. Scott herbs which were interfering with his prostate cancer test results and treatment. Dr. Scott died of terminal prostate cancer in 2005.

Controvery surrounds Pastor Melissa Scott as she hammers volunteers for free servitude, demands money to pray for callers and insists that those who have stayed in her church double and triple their monetary giving and time to help her make ends meet. This is amid court documents and reports that she has been liquidating cars, horses, and real estate that Gene Scott acquired through church donations, to buy herself a downtown L.A. swank condominium and further her own celebrity preacher and singing acclaim.

Recently, Pastor Melissa Scott raised eyebrows within her church by an about face plan to teach the prosperity doctrine, with a catch. It's prosperity for her church and the mostloyal who have devoted their lives to it, not for the poor,homeless, meek, weak or disenfranchised.

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Meme for top hits from Google searches for my Blog

The World's Fair has started a meme, where the premise is that you will attempt to find 5 statements, which if you were to type into google (preferably google.com, but we'll take the other country specific ones if need be), you'll find that you are returned with your blog as the number one hit.

"The Simpsons religion quotes" - I'm pretty honoured to have these excellent quotes from the Simpsons at the top of a Google search.

Christian Porn again - The bible way - Christian Porn sells man... does a dildo still make one girl a virgin? Ya know, if Jesus is the bride-groom and the 'church' is his bride then what happens on the honeymoon night? The church gets severely fucked over.

Christian Masturbation Mass-debate - A lot of very guilty feeling people are out there hiding tissue paper from god, but he can see under the mattresses.

"10 best reasons gay marriage is wrong" - I stole this post from someone else but it's getting good hits and lots of comments.

Christopher Hitchens Quotes - "God Ain't Gr8" - He may drink a lot but people still are curious about the intelligent ramblings he has to offer.

the oldest swingers sex game of stone age exposed (This came in second on Google) I've got a feeling that in a perfect world, we'd have all been swingers.

Dear tiny infant Jesus, with your baby Jesus powers (This came in third on Google) Dear sweet baby Jesus.

And now something completely off topic but I'll use the power of Google to send the clear message that John Howard needs to go! http://www.rightsatwork.com.au/

Evil Disney

I've always enjoyed reading the work of the freaking nutjob fundies at Jesus-is-saviour; they are the epitomy of Christianity gone completely insane. It's one of those sites that you're sure MUST be parody but isn't. They're completely serious about what they ramble on about.

The following excepts from the website are not parody.

Freaky Fundy - "Within 15 minutes of the opening scene, viewers of Walt Disney's movie, NARNIA, are face to face with Pan (deceitfully renamed to "Tumnus"), the evil sexually-perverted pagan sex god, which Wiccan witches worship and adore worldwide.

Freaky Fundy - In lieu of such evidence, how can any professed Christian endorse such a demonic movie as NARNIA? Yet, Christians all across America are praising this evil movie which promotes Satan. Look at the photo of Tumnus to the left. Please notice the Devil's horns coming out of his head. In NARNIA, Tumnus is one of the good characters. Do you think this is all just a coincidence? No my friend, Satan is working relentlessly to poison the minds of our children. Tragically, the average Christian parent is so woefully ignorant of the Word of God that they are easy prey for Satanic deceptions. This is why so many professed Christians see no harm in Harry Potter.

NARNIA and Pedophilia

Freaky Fundy - Lucy and Pan's subtle interactions, give the impression of a pedophile trying to lure a little girl into his house. Tumnus (Pan, a faun) represents the Devil, trying to seduce a young girl. If you doubt what I am saying, you won't by the end of this article. In fact, you are going to be sickened. Furthermore, Tumnus' and his flute have magical powers, just like the Devil. Tumnus puts the little girl to sleep with his music. The next scene shows the little girl waking up and Tumnus crying, claiming that he has done something very bad. The subtle implication is that he sexually molested her. Remember folks, pan is the demonic pagan god of sexual perversion and rape. In fact, most images of pan show him with an erection.

MothandRust - Methinks the mind of this fundamentalis wackjob is a little fucked up to read this into the story. I wonder what she thinks the three bears did to Goldilocks or vica versa. Definitely a spirit of beastiality sexual perversion at work there. The big bad wolf wanting to eat little red also has some 'startling' revelations from a fundamentalist perspective.

Take a look at Pan's Labyrinth and you'll see where all these demonic movies are heading!

Freaky Fundy - Notice in the photo to the left that there are three cleverly hidden 6's in the words "Walt Disney." Also notice that Mickey mouse is wearing a sorcerer's hat and casting a magic spell. Walt Disney is of the Devil, controlled by secret society Illuminist's who are trying to corrupt every child in America.

MothandRust - I think it's really neat that Disney should go to all the trouble to hide mark of the beast 666 in the font of theirs. 66 books in the bible too... evil evil beasty bible!

Walt Disney and Sexual Perversion

Freaky Fundy - I think the photos speak for themselves

Moth - Check out the golden dildo in the centre of the picture. It gets Ariel all wet. I wonder if the fins match the fringe?

Disney - The artists at Disney say this is a laughable coincidence and not intentionally phallic.

Freaky Fundy - The word "sex" written in the sky ("The lion king").

MothandRust - yeah yeah yeah... We've all seen this before. May or may not be an accident. It's but one moment in a piece of twirlsing swirling animation. I think it says SEW myself. I think they are trying to subliminally get children sewing. Those Disney bastards!

Disney - The special effects team autographed this moment of film with their acronym - SFX!

Freaky Fundy - Notice the woman at the window ("The Rescuers"). I added the white spots to cover her bare breasts. Walt Disney's perverts thinks it's cute to place porno in their movies.

Freaky Fundy - A scene from Roger Rabbit. I had to block out a big section to hide the indecency. Disney, not to be outdone...

Disney says - It was a simple colouring error, the panties are there for but one frame or two and the colouring department didn't notice. This happens all the time in hand painted cell creation.

MothandRust - This next one is the coup-de-gras... poor thinking on the ride designer's part but probably not intentional. Like seriously... Disney is about making money and more money. They deleted all those ambiguous moments from their dvd released versions of the films and out of the hundreds they have made these are the freeze-frame moments the crazy fundies could find. This next one is funny.

Freaky Fundy - The Disney corporation appears to be focusing their sexual degradation on young girls instead of young boys. The obvious effect of creating cartoon rides out of sex toys can have no other intent than to lead our young children... boys AND girls... our precious future... down the path of emotional developmental mind control.

Rhetorical questions and random quotings

The Bible says the Earth is flat round and the earth was created before the Sun - Wrong. I'm sorry bible, but you've failed to match up with what we can now work out with a telescope. Maybe in Bible version 2.0 we can fix that up. The bible is supposed to be full of answers, but I can't help but just find heaps more unanswered questions. As Homer said while flipping through the Bible yelling, "This book doesn't have any answers!"

It's a fun book but don't look to deeply:

Eating naughty fruit cursed all women with a tight vagina that would hurt like hell when a baby is passed through it - yeah right. I know of women who have had babies with very little to no pain. Did they escape the curse? Will God get them? Seriously, childbirth sucks because it's a tight opening with lots of nerve endings and muscles. What? Did Eve have a vagina the size of a football? Poor Adam - he must have loved anal. The curse also caused man to have to work for their food, but I know of many rich playboy types who don't do jackshit!... and all snakes lost their legs from the curse too - lizards on the other hand were able to keep their's.

God said "let's make man in our own image', fully knowing that we'd interpret that as being we look pink or brown and hairy like him.

God rested on the seventh day - Why the fuck does an omnipotent being need to rest for a full 'YOM'. How long was the resting Yom 'Day'?

God took a rib from Adam's ribcage? Would Adam not need that particular rib? Did god put too many unnecessary ribs in there? Did Adam have trouble running with an out of whack skeletal system? Couldn't he have cloned Eve with a hair or something?

God, the racist wanted Adam's family to procreate with each other to further the lineage. He didn't want them mixing with the other godless pre-adamics. Wonder which night they hooked the kids up for that? Hey it's Friday night! Meatloaf and family sex night.

Noah's ark was a story put into the bible to set up the scene that God follows through on his threats to genocide our asses if we don't fall into line. Sunday School would also suck without animal stories.

No relationships in heaven? So much for the whole bride-groom coming for his bride analogy. Looks like we're gonna be getting a divorce quicksmart and forced to sing to the egotistical God for all eternity... all with a forced smile lest we be smitten with painful childbirth again.

The bible isn't confusing to those who believe it in much the same way Aboriginals aren't confused by Dreamtime mythology. Plus it's easy to spin this ancient ramble to fit your beliefs with circular reasoning.

Masturbating really pisses Jesus off

He had his wrist nailed so that we could exercise ours...

Your sins are forgiven, but stop masturbating... it makes Jesus angry 'cause he's forced into watching you do it in all his omnipresence. Enjoy the following Youtube I found at

God's still playing the 'Forbidden Fruit' game

Christian Porn addicts confess:

10/14/3 “I'm a 19 year old male who has been trapped in the clutches of pornography for a little over 2 years now. Little did I know on that day when I literally begged my parents to get the Internet that I would be taking my first steps towards sin and debauchery. I only pray that God has mercy on my soul and gives me the strength to break free.”

5/23/3 “I’m 63 and have been addicted to pornography since I was 13. In 1995 through counseling and prayer I was able to finally get rid of all the magazines, books and videos. …I lived a porn free life from July 1995 until October of last year. Then I got a computer and totally slipped off the wagon. It is all just a mouse click away. I did not purchase this computer with porn in mind. There are so many wonderful things out there in cyber land. So getting rid of the computer is a last resort. The porn just filled a void in my life. But instead of contributing anything positive it has just made things worse. Now not only am I suffering from burnout I’m also filled with guilt, disappointment, self-doubt and a lot of other personal negative feelings. …I just want to get my life back. I’m tired of looking at and trading porn with other lost souls for up to 10 hours a day.”

5/18/6 "I am writing to tell people how bad porn is. Porn destroys your relationship with God. There are so many times I have looked at porn and I would come to God to ask for forgiveness and then turn around again and look at porn again. One night, I got so into porn that my mind did not care if I went to Hell or anything else."

1/2/3 “I'm 17, and I have been masturbating for four years. It started when my friend told me of a free password site for porn. I tried stopping, but the temptation was too great. I kept telling myself I'll stop tomorrow. I tried gradually going down, and I said to myself, well maybe reading explicit stories isn't bad. But the fantasies were still in my head. I had to read more and more extreme stories, until I started visiting explicit websites again. I thought I was hopeless. What's worse follows. I then started looking at gay porn. I know deep inside, God has made me compatible for a woman, and I want a family later on. But the temptation kept growing and growing. I don't watch porn anymore, but I can't stop masturbating. Most of the time, I try to justify it, saying there's nothing wrong with it.”

6/7/6 I got out of my bed and destroyed my porn collection. I strongly warn everybody not to indulge in hardcore pornography. Do not believe you can get away with nothing because you are just an ordinary consumer. I thought the same. I know that one time you will have to face consequences. The devil will pay you back in the same manner as you have done, watched, and fantasized. That's the righteousness of God; you will have nobody to blame for except yourself.”

Christian sex-ed records

Dad lights up his pipe and starts talking about nocturnal emissions.

DAD: One of these nights before too long you may find some of it (semen) passes off in your sleep . . .

BOB: (worriedly) But Dad, that's wrong, isn't it?

DAD: No, son, it's not wrong . . . No, it's true that to waste the seed deliberately - to do anything knowingly to make it come is a very grave sin. Because God designed that secretion in a man for one purpose. That is to be, well, like one of his raw materials in the creation of a new life . . . Wet dreams are different. Sometimes the supply of semen becomes too great before a man is married and these dreams are sort of a safety valve . . .

BOB: But Dad, why do fellas get these feelings before they get married?

Dad responds with a metaphor popular in the softcore films of Zalmon King. That is to say that God made sex as necessary as food for survival. Dad adds that sometimes this procreative desire inconveniently appears before the wedding vows are taken and the bloodtests are registered with the county seat.

Link (Via Sound Scavengers)

UPDATE David sez: " Here are four mp3's from the Sex Instruction LP that you recently wrote about.

How Babies are Born

Girls and MenstruationThe Problem with Growing Boys (which you quoted)

The Marriage Union

Christian Masturbation Mass-debate

Kim's Story: I a fifteen year old girl, and I just started masturbating three days ago. I haven't actually come yet, and the second night I tried, I gave up in yet another failed attempt. After I lay down to go to sleep, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt. To put it bluntly, I was horrified. I am a die-hard Christian, and I was shocked that I had done such a thing. I cried silently for hours. The next day I got on the net and found some Christian/masturbation web-sites. I soon found out that the question on whether it is right or wrong to masturbate is totally up for debate. No one really knows. I felt a lot better.

Then yesterday at work, I started thinking about my W.W.J.D. band. What would Jesus do? I was clueless. But I soon started thinking some more. Jesus was created in human form, right? Right. He WAS actually a HE. So HE had HIS own equipment. I started to wonder if Jesus himself ever masturbated, (as bad as it may sound.) I wondered if he EVER once got excited. He was a male, with all human feelings. He had to! I feel a lot better now about what I'm still trying to do. --Kim

Christian Masturbation

I've read the many submissions regarding Christians and masturbation, which seem to reflect mostly how a person feels regarding the practice. The average person seems to think that masturbation is something that, in their own estimation, would be unpleasing to God. Centuries of over-zealous Christians have taken this line, thereby making themselves and others feel a strong sense of guilt.

I personally believe that what the Bible says is true, and I will not go beyond that. To add to what the Bible says is basically putting human words in God's mouth, and human opinions in God's mind. So we have to take what the Bible says at face value and make the appropriate applications.

We can be assured that men (I've chosen to deal with my own gender here) have been masturbating ever since the beginning. As long as men have had penises and hands and have been horny, you can be assured that they have masturbated. It is not an innovation of the 20th century. And it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out that if you rub your penis with your hand, you will ejaculate. In fact I would speculate that young men of yesteryear probably did it more, since there weren't all of the other activities to occupy their time (T.V., Sega, Videos, etc.).

Regardless of how much or little men have masturbated over the last several thousand years, we know it happened; furthermore God knew it happened and that it will continue to happen. So how has God chosen to deal with this?

There is only one section in the Bible that could even remotely be applied to the physical act of masturbation. In Leviticus 15, 16-18 we read: When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.

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Christian Porn Again - the bible way!

Is all porn completely vile? Well, it depends on the viewer. The ability to look at the uncovered genitals and mammary glands of a woman is considered by some to be abnormal and/or sinful. But the idea of publicly sharing such imagery was promoted by the Bible's Solomon who believed it was something to behold and be shared under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, that is.

As far as erotic literacy goes, it's a fairly racy book. I came across a guy online somewhere who is slowly illustrating the whole bible verse by verse. Well, I'd be very curious as to how he draws the Song of Solomon with all its romantic metaphors.

The Song of Songs (aka, the "Song of Solomon") is like nothing else in the Bible. It's an eight chapter poem, narrated by two lovers. She's dark, young, and foxy. He's strong, sexy, and seductive (and he may even be Solomon, the purported author of the song). No doubt some Bible scholars claim that the song is just an allegory, and that the lusty images and panting verses are really enthusiastic prayers. But it sounds like sexy fun bible time. The song is a duet, with the lovers alternating passages. She starts, and begins with a bang: "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine." Now that's an opening line.

Song of Songs 8:10 - Dear brothers, I'm a walled-in virgin still, but my breasts are full? And when my lover sees me, he knows he'll soon be satisfied."
 

Song of Songs 4:5 "Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies."

Song of Songs 1:13 "My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts."

The dirtiest verse in the bible! :

Ezekiel 23:20 Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt (20)and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions. KJV- 20 For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

Song of Songs 3:4 "Scarcely had I passed them when I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go till I had brought him to my mother's house, to the room of the one who conceived me."
 

So in other words, she was not married to him, and when she found him, she took him back to her bed room to have illegal sex with him? If she were married to him, she wouldn't take him to her "mother's house". She would take him to their house.

Song of Songs 5:4 "I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: 'Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.'

I have taken off my robe (i.e., she showed her rude bits to him), must I put it on again? I have washed my feet, must I soil them again? My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him."

Christian erotica?

By the way, Jesus freaks, thy tongue is firmly in my cheeks.

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How religious beliefs do, and don't, influence sexual behavior.

80 percent of teenagers who identify as evangelical or born again think sex should be saved for marriage. But thinking is not the same as doing. Evangelical teens are actually more likely to have lost their virginity than either mainline Protestants or Catholics. Atheists, you can stick it to religion, by sticking it in the preacher's daughter.

Evangelical teens are actually more likely to have lost their virginity than either mainline Protestants or Catholics. They tend to lose their virginity at a slightly younger age—16.3, compared with 16.7 for the other two faiths. And they are much more likely to have had three or more sexual partners by age 17: Regnerus reports that 13.7 percent of evangelicals have, compared with 8.9 percent for mainline Protestants.

In part, the problem lies in the temptation-rich life of an average American teenager. The fate of the True Love Waits movement, which began with the Southern Baptist Convention in the '90s, is a perfect example. Teenagers who signed the abstinence pledge belong to a subgroup of highly motivated virgins. But even they succumb. Follow-up surveys show that at best, pledges delayed premarital sex by 18 months—a success by statistical standards but a disaster for Southern Baptist pastors.

At least in Saudi Arabia the women are all covered up, so there's nothing to be tempted by. But among this elite corps of evangelicals, the women are breezing around in what one girl I know called "shockingly slutty conservative outfits" while the men hold their tongues. (No, they don't hold anything else. Masturbation is strongly discouraged in the literature because it promotes selfish, lustful behavior.)

read more digg story

Jesus stops by the 2007 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas!

Okay, I feel like apologising in advance for promoting this video, but sex is fun and this Jesus is funny, so this I have to blog... after all it definitely 'Ain't Christian'. If the thought of Jesus hanging out with scantily clad bimblos offends you, I highly recommend you NOT viewing the following youtube. Beware all ye that enter, here thar be pornstars.

I couldn't stop myself from blogging this if I tried... which I didn't. Jesus made a point of hanging out where the sinners are, so it's not all that surprising to see him wandering around a Sexpo. I do doubt he'd be asking the venders if they'd been nailed in all three holes... or if they'd give him a few nails to put him up for the night.

Always fun to read the comments on Youtube:

- this is funky crazy, u guys don`t have a job. making fun of my Lord Jesus Christ. may God forgive u guys.

- Who's Jesus?

- Y FUKIN IDITS.. y put jesus into it.. OK THEN WAIT TIL JUDGMENT DAY COMES.. JUST W8...

- Do you like hung guys? I was hung from a cross! Genius!!

- this Is A HUGE Insult!!! i was shocked and offeded that some people would do somthing like this i hope you someday will understand how wrong this is. Jesus is ashamed of you..

- Is this suppposed to be funny? Most people in the porn business would sell there own mother, they're assholes.

- My sinful side laughed but my respect-to-the-Lord side was horrified. I wouldn't want to be in any of their shoes doing that.

- i was horrified to see that anyone would be so blatantly degrading to the Lord Jesus Christ. We are such an ignorant people. Judgement is coming!

- I'm not sure who is stupider-Christians or nymphos?

The oldest swingers: sex games of Stone Age exposed

Story found by Snakechic

Snakey: Here's a bit of research...... Does it surprise anyone that sex is for fun as well as for making babies. ? Nah..SO why do christian conservatives / moderates / liberals no doubt, like to enforce strict controls on every one's sex lives? Whats with the beliefs about women ?- of course we're not preprogrammed to be mongomous! No such thing

Mothy: Thanks for bring up my second favourite topic... I can always count on you to contribute blogworthy stuff - heh. I think if I became a Christian again it'd have to be with the 'Libchrists'... Swinging christians? The two words just sound sooo funny together.

Wiki: Liberated Christians is the name used by a group that contends that monogamy is a tradition with no biblical basis. According to the Liberated Christians website, the group espouses responsible nonmonogamy and polyamory, and works to expose what they call "false traditions of sexual oppression".

Roger Dobson - The oldest swingers: sex games of Stone Age exposed

He may have come down from the trees, but prehistoric man did not stop swinging. New research into Stone Age humans has argued that, far from having intercourse simply to reproduce, they had sex for fun.

Practices ranging from bondage to group sex, transvestism and the use of sex toys were widespread in primitive societies as a way of building up cultural ties.

According to the study, a 30,000-year-old statue of a naked woman - the Venus of Willendorf - and an equally ancient stone phallus found in a German cave, provide the earliest direct evidence that sex was about far more than babies.

Timothy Taylor, reader in archeology at Bradford University, reviewed evidence from dozens of archeological finds and scientific studies for his research.

“The widespread lay belief that sex in the past was predominantly heterosexual and reproductive can be challenged,” said Taylor.

He argues that monogamy only became established as hunter-gatherer societies took up agriculture and settled in houses, allowing the social roles of men and women to become more fixed.

Experts believe research such as Taylor’s may help overturn false assumptions that sex for the purposes of reproduction is the form closest to nature.

Petra Boynton, a relationship counsellor and health lecturer at University College, London, found the study “refreshing”.

“So much evolutionary theory promotes the idea that humans, particularly women, are preprogrammed for monogamy, but that is often simply overlaying science on a preexisting view of society,” she said.

Taylor, whose research is published by Haworth Press in the Handbook of the Evolution of Human Sexuality, says the human attitude to sex arose from the complex interaction of physical and mental development. By comparison with modern humans, who appeared about 300,000-100,000 years ago, apes have tiny male genitals, no female breasts and are hairy. But they are easily able to distinguish the sexes because males can weigh up to three times as much as females.

Humans, by contrast, are far less easy to distinguish by size. Taylor says that prominent male genitals and female breasts developed to aid recognition of the opposite sex in creatures of similar size and shape. The similarity in size, combined with the ease of face-to-face sex, allowed intercourse to become a vital part of social interaction, communication and inventiveness.

Keep your Jesus off my penis

Eric Schwartz is a very funny guy. This is a cool Video and you must take it as pure satire and comedy. If you have any complaints about it or are offended, please leave a comment because any comment is a good comment.

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

Well I'm frickin' sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right's
Ungodly fight to take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection
If we're just practicing for now
So dubya look obey a book
If that's what works for you
But I don't tell you how to pray
So don't tell me how to screw

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you’re screaming bloody murder
'Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look

And as for the ten commandments
They need one more at least
Thou shall never cover up
The acts of pervert priests
How'd they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us
Well anyway it adds
Another layer to the chorus

So you'll execute a person
And protect a single cell
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
And you're goin' straight to hell
I don't know much about
The word of God
Far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't
Hypochristianity

I am not anti-Christian
Before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
We're all looking for an answer
Some colossal cosmic cause
But who the fuck are you
To turn your views into my laws?
It's just believers in the bible
That would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics?
I could count’em on one hand
And as for killing babies
I have but one retort
If someone raped your daughter George
You'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church
Shows up with child or some infection
‘Cuz you taught her what a horrid sin
It was to use protection
One day you'll face the pearly gates
And whatchu gonna say
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
Sends your ass the other way sayin’

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here
With all the biblibile you spew
Keep your Jesus off my penis
(at least that's what I would do)
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me to

Jesus singing "I will survive".

Short video and very Very funny.